As most of you probably know, I’m not a big believer in “routines” and “tricks” in order to be successful with women. I won’t go to the extreme of saying that what you say/how you act doesn’t matters, but a lot of your success is based on “behind the scenes stuff.” Although a few basic tips can be helpful, it’s mainly about putting YOUR best foot foreword and trying. There’s only so much “skill” involved. In fact, you’ll reach a point where you’re as good as you’re ever going to be.
Having said all that, one thing I do consider to be “skilled” is knowing when to move on. The goal of this article is to give you some give you some knowledge about when it’s time to move on in order to prevent/reduce unnecessary frustration.
When she’s clearly not interested
There’s generally 4 different situations that come up:
She straight up tells you that she’s not interested- This is the most obvious. She bluntly tells you she’s not interested. Some guys foolishly think she’s just “playing hard to get” and they just need to “up their game.” This isn’t the case. She told you she’s not interested because SHE’S NOT INTERESTED!
She doesn’t respond to your calls/texts– Any guy who’s grabbed a number or two from a random woman before knows that a number doesn’t automatically guarantee a first date. Heck, some numbers won’t get as much as a reply back. Sometimes it’s easier for women to give out their number at the time in order to avoid an awkward situation knowing they can just ignore your call/text later on. What I’ve always done if she doesn’t reply to the first text is to send another one the following day and if she doesn’t reply to that one either, I simply move on. She’s clearly not interested.
She avoids meeting up at all costs- This is slightly different than the above example. In this case, you’ve already spoken to the woman. Perhaps it was through Facebook or through text. This particular woman may talk to you no problem but does a complete “360” at any mention of meeting up for a date. She has all kinds of reasons as to why she can’t. Now, there is a difference between her not being able to meet up due to other commitments, but when she constantly has excuses, and never suggests another time she’s not interested and is trying to be polite about it. This is generally very confusing to guys as she is still talking to them even though she’s not interested.
She’s suddenly turned “cold”– This is different than her avoiding a meet up since in this case you’ve already been on a date or two with her. The difference here is that now she’s gone ice cold. Perhaps she starts ignoring your calls/texts altogether. And, on the rare occasion she does reply, she basically claims she’s going to be busy for the rest of her life. This isn’t good, and again, indicates she’s not interested.
When she’s not an option
If you thought continuing to pursue women who aren’t interested was bad, well, pursuing women who aren’t an option is just as bad.
I know some of you are probably thinking, “Yeah, but how do I know if she’s single or not unless I approach her?”
In most cases, you won’t know if she’s single or not until after you approach her.
It’s not approaching an unavailable women that’s so much a problem. It’s when you know she’s unavailable but continue on anyways.
For example, when I was out cold approaching during the day a lot I approached a lot of women who gave me no clear indication that they even wanted to be approached. As a result, I would often hear “Sorry, but I have a boyfriend.”
Now, I don’t know for certain if EVERY woman who said that actually had a boyfriend, but, regardless, she wasn’t interested. The moment a woman said that, I would quickly say, “OK. No worries. Have a good day” and walk off.
Why would I waste any more of her time, or better yet, mine?
There were tons of women around where I “set up shop” so I knew I was better off looking for one who was an option.
Another mistake guys make is dreaming about a woman who they KNOW isn’t an option. There’s no doubt every guy has met a a woman or two who would have been a great fit for them but she’s wasn’t an option. Someone else already scooped her up.
Let’s face it, there’s some pretty good women out there who are already taken.
It’s no uncommon for some men to “wait it out” hoping that the woman either breaks up with her boyfriend or gets divorced. Some guys think they’ll be ready if they get the chance.
If you know a woman is married or has a boyfriend, move on!
When you no longer feel it
As I’ve said already, time can sometimes cause people to change.
You felt a great connection at first but it’s no longer there.
Perhaps your life goals don’t coincide anymore?
Perhaps she let herself slip a bit? Relationships can cause “comfort” and one partner (or both) can start to slacken off a bit with things.
Whatever the case may be, something changed, and you no longer feel it.
When she treats you poorly
As most of you probably noticed, I tend to speak about women in a more positive manner. I think there are several reasons for this. For one, I feel I didn’t really “hit my groove” with women until about 25. Before then, I was basically “throwing darts” and would have some luck here and there, but wasn’t that consistent. I’m also only 30 years old so I haven’t gone through a nasty divorce or anything else that would make me feel anger towards women. Also, once I did start consistently meeting women, to put it modestly, women seemed to make things very easy for me. I can’t lie and say I didn’t have a bit of luck genetically. I’m not the best looking guy but did hit a few things rather nicely. There’s been quite a few women over the years who were interested in me solely because of my looks. On top of that, I have an easy going personality, goals, and hobbies. Once I realized how high my value was, I started to QUICKLY drop the lousy women.
I’ve always stated It can be a nice feeling to have a quality woman in your life. However, get the wrong woman and life can be hell. You’re not obligated to continue seeing her if she’s a lousy option.
Here are some signs she’s treating you poorly:
- She has a negative impact on your mental well being. She incredibly moody, plays lots of games and she’s causing you to become stressed out and depressed. You actually feel worse when you’re in her presence.
- She openly flirts with other men in front of you or has mentioned other guys she sees. Now, if the terms of the relationship are more “casual” you may encounter this from time to time, but don’t tolerate it for a minute if she’s your girlfriend. This shows you just how much she respects you. Or should I say how little she respects you.
- She physically abusive. (Yes, men can get abused too)
- She’s constantly lying to you
- She steals from you
I believe there’s 2 reasons why men stick with lousy women:
- The guy doesn’t realize his true value/potential and feels she is the only woman in the world who would be interested in him. In essence, he feels he can’t do any better.
- The woman is really attractive and the guy justifies her poor behavior since she’s so “hot.”
There’s no need to tolerate poor behavior. There will be ups and downs in any relationship, but you need to know when to draw the line. Have some self respect!
Not knowing when to move on can cause serious frustrations and waste tons of time. Time that could have been spent pursing women who were interested, available, suitable, and a great catch. When you’re a high quality guy there will be plenty of these women looking for you. It will be up to you to make the move.