When it to comes to many things in life, it’s quite common to think of everything that could go wrong as opposed to what could go right.
This is especially true when it comes to women.
Not long ago, I was speaking with a young co-worker about the dating app, Tinder.
He was showing me some of the matches he was getting and I was really impressed by not only how many women he was matching with but also the quality of women he was matching with.
Not only that, but many of the attractive women he was matching with were even replying back to his messages.
However, I was really shocked at the fact that he wasn’t trying to get any of them out on a date.
With a puzzled look on my face, I asked him, “Why aren’t you asking any of these women out on a date?”
He instantly replied, “There’s no point. They’ve probably been asked out 50 times already today. Plus, what if they say no?”
I looked him right in the eye and said, “Yeah, of course, you could get rejected but what would do if one of them said yes? Would you be prepared for it?”
He looked back at me with borderline terror in his eyes and said, “Well, they probably wouldn’t. Plus, I don’t even know where I could take a woman for a date and I’m too busy this week.”
This is not uncommon at all for guys to think this way.
As crazy as it may sound, some guys can actually be more scared to hear a yes than a no.
Her saying yes can cause your mind can go into overdrive.
You start thinking things such as….
” What do I do now? I wasn’t expecting this.”
“Do I have the right shirt to wear?”
“Will she find my jokes funny?”
“What will we talk about?”
“Is she too hot for me?”
“Should I make a move tonight?”
I know for me, several years ago when I was doing a lot of cold approaching, when a woman would say yes and the date was planned it often made me feel more nervous than anything.
Although I was up and down with the cold approaching early on, I was sometimes a little shocked when a really attractive woman would say yes when I asked for a date and even excitedly replied back to my confirmation text on the day of the date with some something such as,
“Looking forward to it. Cya tonight ;)”
Although I had done well with online dating for years, I wasn’t 100% sure this cold approaching “thingy” could actually “work” early on.
However, after I started to really “hit my stride” and got a lot of dates and such, when I saw a woman I thought was really attractive, rather than thinking she could say no, I started to wonder, “What if she says yes?” instead.
Trust me, you have no idea what a woman is thinking.
You’d be absolutely AMAZED at what can happen when you simply just ask for a date.
Yes, of course, I was well aware I could get rejected but the “fear” of losing out on a “yes girl” caused me to approach like a total lunatic as the fear of missing out was more prevalent than the fear of getting rejected.
Now, of course, I did get myself into some weird situations (approaches that I probably shouldn’t have done) but I was willing to take the risk as the possible yes was more motivating than a possible no.
As you go on more dates and meet more women, you’re bound to have some good dates and this will cause your confidence around women to skyrocket.
When you see a woman you’re attracted to, you’ll likely start to wonder what if she says yes as opposed to what if she says no.
Other attractive women were interested in the past, why wouldn’t this woman be interested in you as well?
When to get to this point yourself, you’ll be on a totally different level.
You’ll be rather quick to make a move when the hottie at the bar keeps checking out at the bar.
You’ll also feel more confident to get the cutie from the online dating app out on a date as opposed to texting back and froth nonstop or trying to run some “social media game.”
You’ll also feel at ease approaching that sexy brunette walking down the street.
Even if a woman says no, you’ll feel much better knowing as opposed to constantly wondering, “What if she said yes?”
Since you’re a cool guy, though, she’s likely going to say yes anyways and is just waiting for you to ask.
Remember, she can’t yes if you don’t ask her ;)