When it comes to meeting women, it is, and always will be a numbers game.
There’s no denying that life’s not always fair, and ultimately, some guys will have to play the numbers game harder than others.
I know there’s TONS of articles out there on the numbers game, and it’s more or less common sense, but I wanted to give you my perspective on it and relate it to Texas Hold’em poker.
Although I think its glory days are well behind us, poker most certainly took the world by storm at one point.
The poker boom was largely due in part to amateur/recreational player, Chris Moneymaker, winning the World Series of Poker back in 2003. The fact that an amateur captured the elusive title filled with pros made it a dream that others thought was possible with some skill and a little luck.
In fact, I think a lot of guys at some point or another have likely played a game or two of poker, whether it be a $5 game with friends, a game online, or at the local casino.
Although I did enjoy playing with friends, and online, I enjoyed casino poker the best. Back in 2005-2007ish, it was VERY profitable for the skilled player. In fact, some of the players were so bad that they would call large bets with absolutely nothing. That’s right. With NOTHING! Some of them couldn’t read their hands properly and thought they had a straight, while in reality, they didn’t even have as much as a pair.
Anyhow, oddly, there’s a lot similarities between poker and meeting women.
Good luck plays a HUGE factor when it comes to poker. You can be the most skilled player in the world, but you will still need some luck to be a consistent winner.
There’s 3 ways in which luck affects you:
1. Getting big hands to begin with.
2. Your big hands hold up. and are not outdrawn by your opponents inferior hands
3. Outdrawing your opponent when you hold the inferior hand
There were various nights I’d leave the casino up money and while driving home would think of some hands I won and wonder if I had made the correct mathematical play. Sometimes after checking the odds online, it turned out, that, in fact, I made a rather poor play and was just plain lucky.
Hitting a good game/being in the right spot at the right time
You can’t win much at a table if there’s not a significant amount of money on it, or if it’s a “tame” game.
I can recall multiple times lucking in on a great game.
One night in particular comes to mind.
Back when I was playing a lot of poker at the casino I generally showed up to play later in the evening on a Friday or Saturday. A friend and I determined this was the “prime” time to play.
There were usually quite a few drunks playing, and often a lot of money had been distributed around the table as opposed to a new table that had just opened up.
Anyhow, I show up one Saturday night around 10pm and to my my pleasant surprise at the table I join, there’s this drunk guy with almost $2000 in front of him( which, by the way, is a TON for a $1/$2 cash game). He was basically playing every hand and betting/bluffing like a total lunatic. (I’m not going to lie, I was basically frothing at the mouth….)
After about 2 hours of play I had my original buy-in of $200 turned into 700ish, but had yet to really play a pot with the drunk guy. I keep patient, though, and hoped to get to a chance to really nail him. Eventually it came, and I won a pot of almost $1500 against him with a pair of Aces.
Now me waiting for a spot to get him was definitely a testament of my patience, and in essence how I played my big hand against him was certainly “skilled.” However, I would be lying if I said I also didn’t get lucky that my hand held to begin with, and that I was in the right place at the right time.
It’s not like I’m so good that I “magically” made me the dealer give me a pair of Aces that hand.
This same theory applies to meeting women.
Sometimes you are just in the right spot at the right time.
It was nothing impressive that YOU did.
You met a girl who was available and ultimately interested in meeting a guy like you.
Anyone who’s played some poker before knows that putting your money in with the best hand does not necessarily mean it will finish as the best hand.
For this reason, it can be tough at times to judge your play based solely on how much money you’re leaving the casino with, or how much money you’re leaving at the casino.
For example, you could put your money in as a 75%+ favorite 10 times in a row, and lose 10 times a row. In this instance, you made the correct play 10 times in a row but experienced some variance. On paper it may look like you played rather poorly, while in reality, lady luck was just cruel to you.
The same thing applies to women. Sometimes you have bad runs of luck. (Anyone who says they don’t from time to time is 100% LYING to you)
You could approach 10 women in row, and just like being a 75%+ favorite in poker, get blown out 10 times in a row.
Now, assuming you’ve been taking care of yourself, and can talk to women NORMALLY, there’s likely nothing you could have/should have done differently!
For this reason, I STRONGLY discourage guys from keeping “stats.”
It can lead guys to believe their “skills” are off, while ultimately, like the poker player on a bad run of luck, they played the situation correctly and the rest was out of their control.
Also, another reason I discourage guys from keeping stats is that I believe it’s VERY dorky!
Improving your odds
Although bad runs of luck with poker and women are inevitable from time to time, you most certainly can improve your odds.
Guys more skilled at poker are NOT playing every hand they get. In fact, good poker players generally play much fewer hands than the average player. They know a lot of hands they’re dealt have poor potential and will cost them a lot of money in the long run. The hands they do play, however, tend to be very strong. Some of the biggest nights I’ve had at the casino were nights where I hardly played a hand. I was just patient and waited for good spots.
A lot of the mainstream dating advice will tell you to go approach another 100 random women.
In essence, you most certainly will increase your chances of meeting women, however, this is more or less bad advice.
If you just randomly approach 100 women, you’re bound to encounter to A LOT of women who are either unavailable or uninterested in you for one reason or another.
This would be me liking tell you, “Bro, play the next 100 hands you get in a row. You’ll eventually win a hand.”
Again, obviously you can’t win if you don’t play, but if you were to play 100 hands in a row, you’d be playing so many bad hands. You’d almost be certain to lose a lot of money.
So how do you increase your odds of meeting women?
I know some guys would probably like to choke me for continuing to say this, but it’s true, and BY FAR the best way to increase your chances of meeting women. Although it will still be a number’s game, you will greatly increase your chances of getting available women out for at the very least a first date.
2. Put yourself in situations that give you the greatest chance for success
Everyone will be at different points in their life/have different goals in regards to women. As I’ve already said, the decisions you make in life are ultimately up to you. If you’re purely looking for “quick flings,” you’d be much better off hitting up the bars and getting in with the party crew as opposed to cold approaching during the day. If you’re looking for something more serious, you’d be better off trying to meet women through a shared common interest. If you like fitness, try crossfit, try a class at the gym, and just be more friendly to those around you at the gym. If you have some spare time you may want to consider volunteering, some type of nighttime education, try out a dance class, or consider a cooking class if you like cooking.
Although I tended to “play my cards” for the most part, there were obviously times when I would “play the player.” If a player were to give off an obvious tell, such as betting pattern, or their move made no sense, I would trust my read and play back.
It takes a lot of balls and belief in your read to call a big bet by a player with hardly nothing, but deep down knowing that your nothing is bigger than their nothing.
In fact, not being able to do this can actually cost you money. You’re leaving money on the table that could easily have been be yours if you were able to pick up on an opponent’s playing patterns.
This applies to women as well.
Guys that get good with women can pick up on “tells” from women that inexperienced guys can’t. They can spot “them eyes” and know that it’s “go time.”
In fact, guys that are good at meeting women at the bar or through cold approach often approach very few women. When they do approach women, however, their success rate tend to be VERY high.
Some women, whether intentional or not, give off VERY obvious “tells” when they’re attracted to a guy.
This is key when playing poker.
This is often what separates the “men” from the “boys” when it comes to being a winning poker player versus a losing poker player.
Inexperienced guys tend to be stubborn and stick around in a hand because they’ve already invested some money even though it’s obvious they’re beat.
Guys that are experienced, drop the ego, and cut their losses if they suspect they were outdrawn.
The same thing applies to women
Guys experienced with women will just move on from a woman that is CLEARLY not interested. They realize it’s pointless and things are going nowhere.
Now you certainly don’t want to be a reckless gambler when playing poker, but sometimes going on a draw with good odds, or making a “looser” call based on a tell you picked up on a player earlier in the session can pay off huge.
This is also applicable to women. Although I don’t encourage guys to “spam approach,” once in a while you have to roll the dice and take a chance.
If you see a woman that is so gorgeous you’re practically salivating, roll the dice and go for it.