Love it or hate it, texting has become a popular means of communication for us in recent years.
If you’re out there in the dating world, you likely know by now that you need to use it from time to time to set up dates/plans.
I’ve heard differing views on calling as opposed to texting. I believe you should ALWAYS text a woman you’ve just met as opposed to calling to her. In fact, some women won’t even pick up their phone for a guy they barely know. There’s nothing wrong with calling her after a few dates, but stick to texting initially.
Now I’m going to tell you something right now, texting is NOT a means of “amplifying attraction”.
SIMPLY A MEANS OF COMMUNICATION FOR YOU TO GET HER ON A DATE/SET UP THE NEXT ONE.
Texting, when kept to a minimum, will not hurt your chances with a woman you’re about to go on a date with.
In fact, it will improve them.
Texting too much and too often before a date could potentially cause a woman to lose interest and flake last minute because you played too much “text game”.
Now one big advantage of texting is that it’s:
Quick and simple
You want to set up a date and all you need to do is drop a, (this a great text to send to a woman you’ve already met)
“Hey there, want to stop by for a movie tonight at 8?”
You’ve sent the text and now you just need her to reply back when she gets a chance.
There’s no need to call and try and catch her at the perfect time.
Texting certainly has some drawbacks too:
It’s very impersonal and things can be taken out of context
I tend to be a cheeky guy with a sarcastic sense of humor.
This is fine in person when a woman can see my facial expressions and hear my voice tonality. With texting it’s a totally different ball game.
A missed word or poorly timed exclamation mark and your text can come off as weird or rude.
You don’t know 100% for sure if she actually received your text.
Sometimes things go whacky in the cyber world.
There’s been times before where I’ve texted women (or so I thought) and they DID NOT receive them.
It had had shown on my phone that the texts were sent and I come to find out later that they did not receive them.
Keep the texts short and to the point:
You: Hey (insert girl’s name), hope you’re having a good day. Looks like it’s going to be a nice one tomorrow, want to go to the beach tomorrow around noon?
Her: Hey, day is going good thanks. How about you? Yeah, that sounds awesome.
You: Day is going good. Awesome, I’ll send you a text tomorrow morning to confirm specifics.
Her: KK sounds good.
Avoid using too many smiley faces:
There’s nothing wrong with using one here and there.
In fact, sometimes a ;) or :P will prevent a cheeky text from coming off as too weird or rude.
Don’t overdo it though.
A smiley face used in every text will make you come off as very feminine.
Avoid using stupid slang:
Keep the jokes to a minimum:
As I’ve already stated, texting is a means of communication, not a time to start practicing for your next standup gig!
Sure, a funny text here and there is fine, but joking around too much will make you come off as a huge goofball.
Avoid saying “lol” or “haha” in every text:
Pretty self explanatory
DO NOT play texting games:
There’s 2 things I mean by this
1. Do NOT act like you’re too cool for school
I used to make this mistake myself in the past.
After reading some bad advice online, I had it my head that I was suppose to wait so long until I texted her back to avoid coming off as “needy.”
I’ve texted girls before, had then reply back within 5 minutes, and I would instantly text them back as well.
I mean, why not? She was close to her phone, I was close to mine. It makes A LOT of sense to set things up.
Back when I was reading a lot of advice online about this, I would often play really hard to get with an INTERESTED girl. This caused me to come off as socially inept.
When a girl would text me back right away, I’d often wait at least 2 hours before replying back. This showed my “social proof”. The girl totally knew I was busy and that she just an afterthought. This “created attraction”, raised my value, and gave me the upper hand. (Supposedly)
By playing so hard to get, I would often have girls lose interest or make other plans when they were initially free.
Now if you snap reply to every text she sends, it looks like you have nothing going on in your life and you are just waiting by your phone.
What you need to do is text her back……..
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT!
Sometimes I snap reply to texts and other times I don’t because my phone is not on me(like at the gym), or I don’t hear the text notification.
Also avoid goofing around by texting less words than she does. (this was a “tip” I read before as well. Make sure your text makes sense)
2. Texting too much and not ACTUALLY setting up a date:
This annoys the $!@# out of me!
I’ve heard numerous guys throughout the years complain they can’t meet women. The irony here is that sometimes they’re actually talking to a lot of women.
Most of the time they’re just texting and not actually trying to get her out on a date.
When using online dating sites like POF or dating apps like Tinder, I would often hear the same thing over and over again from ATTRACTIVE women.
Almost always when using any type of online dating, common questions get brought up at some point or another during the date:
“How long have you been using this for?”
“How do you like it?”
“How many people have you met so far?”
Want to hear something funny that ATTRACTIVE women would often say when I asked them what they thought of the site/app?
Their replies a lot of times would be:
“I don’t know what I think of it. There’s a lot of creepy guys on it”
BUT, a LOT of times they would say:
“Well, this is actually my first date. I’ve chatted with a few guys before but they NEVER ACTUALLY ASKED ME ON A DATE. THEY JUST TEXTED ME”
Almost always the women who said this were ones that had been on the site for a MINIUMUM of 3 months.
Ask her on a date and stop playing GAMES!
One final thought on playing texting games is this:
Women DO NOT care how “skilled” of a texter you are. As I say and always will, the essentials take care of the real attraction.
No woman is bragging to her friends about how tight your “text game” is. Also, no woman is going break up with a guy in order to find one who will satisfy her deepest “texting fantasies”.
Think this ever happens?
The final point I want to make is to RELAX!
We’ve all been there before.
You send a text out and next thing you know 30 minutes pass, then an hour, then 2, 3, and she still hasn’t replied.
She seemed into you right?
Well chances are she still is.
Some reasons why it may have taken her a while to reply back:
-She was working and didn’t see it right away
-Her phone died and she didn’t have access to a charger
-A family emergency came up
-She’s playing a little hard to get (This can be so annoying)
-She’s in an area with no reception
-She feel asleep
-You asked her on a date and she needs to make sure that date/time works
-She doesn’t check her phone very often
-She lost her phone
-Her phone isn’t working properly. She can’t send or receive texts.
-She rushed out the door that morning and forgot her phone on the counter
-You made a statement. There was no question in your text and therefore no reason for her to reply back.
-She really likes you and is nervous about texting you back
AND….a not so great but very real possibility:
-She’s not interested but didn’t want to come off as rude at the time
So there you have it, gents, text game at it’s finest!