Most guys have likely come across a forum or two at some point or another.
Forums are the best place to get expert advice, right? Well, maybe….
Having spent a bit of time on various forums throughout the years, I know all too well how they work. I was mainly on bodybuilding, dating, and sports betting forums (I actually spent the most amount of time on a sports betting forum). Although I can only speak in regards to my experiences on those particular ones, I think it’s fair to say they are all essentially the same, aside from content, of course.
Seeing as I’ve been on a few forums before, I would like to share with you some of my thoughts on them:
(NOTE: This is post is not intended to “call out” or criticize any forum in particular)
Regardless of the topic covered, I GUARANTEE that it will consume some of your time. For some, it may be just a few glances throughout the week. For others, however, they may be spending a considerable amount of time on them. They post new threads, answer questions posted by other members, and check back to see if someone replied to their latest post.
This can result in TONS of time per week sitting around on your computer basically accomplishing nothing!
Let’s say you’re spending 5 or 6 hours a week on forums (which is quite easy to do). If you were not on the forum(s), would you not have more time to hit the gym and make that dream physique a reality? More free time to meet new women? More time to work on a business/your career? More time to pursue your hobbies?
Seeing as I’m a fitness enthusiast, it never ceases to amaze how many people say they don’t have time to get in shape, yet, somehow, they have time to go on forums, Facebook, and other forms of social media. I once read that the people who lead the most exciting lives are the ones who have the least exciting Facebook profiles. The reason for this? They’re too busy living their lives and don’t have the time to post about it online.
RARELY, IF EVER, do you actually see the person giving the advice-
This can obviously vary from forum to forum and some members have no problem putting up their pic (you can’t blame some people for not wanting to do so, though), but most times, however, you have no idea who is actually giving the advice.
The guy giving you fitness advice may actually be 300+lbs and eating an order of fries while replying back to your question.
The guy claiming to be unstoppable with women may be 40, unemployed, and living in his parent’s basement. He may have NEVER even been on a date before and is writing fictional “erotica” through his forum posts.
The fact you don’t need to post pics on most forums can cause members to exaggerate or even straight up lie. No one knows who they are/what they even look like. Again, it’s understandable as some may prefer not to reveal themselves for the whole world to see online, but since you usually have no clue who they are, you should always be somewhat skeptical of them.
A good example of this was a user on the sports betting forum I once frequented. This particular user claimed to be betting $20,000 per game. After seeing the guy post more and more, I became very suspicious of his stories. They made no sense and I kept wondering what he was doing on a forum full of guys betting peanuts in comparison to him? I mean, realistically, if a guy is as good as he claims (whether it be dating, investing money, bodybuilding, etc., etc.) do you honestly think he’d be anywhere near a forum to begin with? Could you picture Tiger Woods signing up for a golf forum and spending hours per week telling people how to drive the ball further?
Status among members-
The newbie will usually have the status of a rookie or junior member.
The average poster will usually get some type of intermediate recognition.
The frequent and long term users will often get more of a “superstar” type of recognition.
With most forums, the more often you post and/or answer questions, the quicker you climb the ranks to a more advanced status (This is not necessarily a good thing. It just means you have more free time on your hands and have been on the forum for a longer period of time.).
I think one of the BIGGEST problems with the rankings of members is this……
Sometimes the most advanced members are the ones giving the WORST advice!
Some guys will NEVER pick up on this. I have seen this play out many times before. Someone will start a new thread asking for advice and the more advanced member will chime in spewing HORRIBLE advice. Often times other members will join in agreeing with the senior member (this is largely due to the user’s status).
I’ve also seen it play out many times before where a newbie/rookie on the forum gives AMAZING advice and is basically tuned out due to his low status level.
There’s basically 3 different types of posters on forums-
Although this is a bit of a generalization, there’s generally only 3 different types of posters on a forum:
1. The clueless poster– this member usually has a ton of questions and is lost on most things. They will usually admit they’re lost too. Sometimes this person will post advice and it is usually so far off it’s not funny.
2. The intermediate poster– this member is a bit of a mixed bag. Sometimes they will start new threads asking for a ton of advice. Next time, they post or answer questions like they are a seasoned veteran on the topic. Then, a week later they seem completely lost again. Usually this person is making some sort of progress, which is a good sign.
3. The expert poster– this member can be a bit of a two edged sword. They ALWAYS answer the questions. They’ll almost always do so in a authoritative manner as well. In the rare instance they do start a new post, it’s usually to make a statement and not to ask a question.Usually these are the most respected members on the forum. Some of them DO actually give good advice. They’ll have pics of themselves posted or other proof they’re legit. They’ve battled the same problems and legitimately want to help others enjoy the same sort of success they are experiencing now. Some of the expert/advanced members, though, give the WORST advice on the forum. They’ve been on it for a long time and are just as lost as when they first started. Their “status”/gazillion posts have them thinking they’re an expert by now.
With regards to the forums I’ve been on, especially bodybuilding and dating ones, guys often look for the “perfect” solution to their problems. They search the “best” workout plan, the “best” nutrition plan, the “perfect” line to use, and they spend NO TIME taking action in the REAL WORLD! I would have to say this is the worst part of forums. It can cause guys to waste a TON of time online and get nowhere in the real life, where it really counts.
The only real positives of forums I can think of are these:
1. It can be a good way for you to be held accountable for a certain goal– let’s say you are determined to get into good shape or to get a gorgeous girlfriend. Posting on a forum could potentially cause you to be more focused and determined in order to accomplish your goal(s). You get support from other members looking to do the same and know you will be held accountable if you’re not taking action.
2. Some of the members do actually know what they are talking about and want to help you– as was stated earlier, some of the more advanced members want to help others out. They were in the same boat you were in and want to see achieve as well. They have good experiences and want to share them with you. I got some good advice for setting up this blog on a forum by a senior forum member last year. You can also get good advice from newer members as I stated earlier.
When it comes to forums, aside from the 2 advantages stated above, they are basically worthless.
If you want to get in better shape, spend more time at the gym and more time researching workout plans and nutrition advice.
If you want to get more women/quality women in your life, spend more time talking to women during your daily routines, spend more time on online dating, work on a better social circle, and head to a bar/club once in a while.
Forums tend to cause guys to spend way too much time analyzing everything without actually taking any action in REAL LIFE! I’m not saying you should completely cut off all “ties” with a forum, but if you’re not getting anything done, perhaps it’s best for you to step away altogether?
People in good shape and/or good with women will almost never be on an online forums. They’ll be out there doing it!
You should be doing the same. Get there and do it, rather than posting about it on a forum!