Although you can most certainly have “red hot” runs that stroke your ego and cause your head to become the size of a pumpkin, rough patches and “swings” are inevitable from time to time in the dating world.
During these swings it can be easy to start blaming yourself and to take things very personal.
What if I told you that during a rough patch, in most instances, it has NOTHING do you?
Well, actually, before we get started, let’s make sure that you aren’t the actual problem.
As many of you likely noticed, I tend to be very critical of bloggers who constantly blast women and like to place all the blame on them. Ironically, 9 times out of 10 the author has 4 or 5 chins, dresses like a total slob, seems awkward, and has ZERO sex appeal at all to attractive women. Trust me, “Western women” are hardly the reason such men struggle so badly.
Now, seeing as the guys on here seem to actually be serious about stuff, I’ll assume that rather than blame women you’ll become the kind of guy women want to meet instead. Another thing I’m going to assume if you’re not “there” yet that you’re at least working on it, to the best of your abilities anyways.
Yes, of course, you can only do so much with what you have, and even with some self-improvements you can’t guarantee success with any particular woman. However, in many instances, getting “rejected” has NOTHING to do with you, regardless of who you are and what you have to offer. There’s several reasons for this and they include the following….
She’s not an option
This should be rather obvious but sometimes a woman’s “status” is unknown.
If you know beforehand that a woman is taken, I recommend looking for another one. Most of the time you won’t be get anywhere anyways.
Despite what you might have read online, lots of women will NOT cheat on their boyfriends or husbands. And, if she does, you really need to have your head examined if you consider a serious relationship with her. This is especially true if she continues to see her “real boyfriend.”
Also, you can waste so much time “waiting it out” just praying that things will go sour with her current boyfriend. While it’s possible that things may go south, there’s still no guarantee that you’ll get her afterwords anyways. I think the biggest downside to this, though, is that there’s TONS of other women out there who ARE single that you could be pursuing instead.
While you sometimes know a woman’s status, many times you really have no clue.
For example, when I was doing a lot of cold approaching, I was often “blindly” doing so which meant I was approaching a lot of women who gave me no clear indication that they even wanted to be approached in the first place.
As a result, I approached MANY women who were not an option for me as they already had a boyfriend.
There was NOTHING I could do about this and it was nothing I took personal. I took a chance and she wasn’t an option for me.
One thing I must say, too, is that if a woman tells you she has a boyfriend (in any scenario), just assume she does. While it may not be true from time to time, don’t start thinking “she’s just saying that” and lose your “mojo.”
We most definitely live in a day and age where even the slightest criticism of women can be interpreted as “politically incorrect,” “sexist,” or “misogynistic.”
While I think it’s important to have a healthy mindset with women and I really do love women, I don’t think it’s unfair for me to say some women are straight up crazy!
This is not a “misogynistic statement,”and, in fact, any reasonable woman who is being unbiased will most certainly agree with me on this. (to be fair, some men are nuts, too)
Now, perhaps I’ve been fairly lucky with women this far and it’s why I haven’t had too many encounters with the “crazies,” but if you meet enough women, chances are you will meet a few who are totally “off their rockers.”
You mean to tell me that a woman who drives her car through her cheating boyfriend’s living room and chops off his “manhood” with a machete is sane?
Okay, so maybe that was a bit far fetched but some women you meet will be totally nuts. Sometimes this will be obvious right away and sometimes it will be revealed later on.
If she gives off even the slightest indication that’s a little “squirrely,” your best bet is to get rid of her, and QUICKLY!
I know, as a guy it can sometimes be easy to get drawn into a woman’s looks, especially if she has a great chest or a “fly” ass and you can start thinking with the head below your belt as opposed to the one attached to your shoulders, but think of the potential consequences of keeping such a woman around.
She could destroy your finances, your house/apartment, or your relationships with other people. Stay away from her!
She’s a low quality woman
I know, I know, most of you wouldn’t generally pursue a low quality woman had you known beforehand, but when you meet women more randomly, you often know very little about them. Thus, she might be EXACTLY the type of woman you don’t want to meet.
I’ve already said before that it can be easier to get quality women if you’re a quality guy, and, oddly, it can be more difficult to get low quality women.
Plain and simple, low quality women don’t appreciate a good man and will generally let one slip away. They tend to have low values and questionable morals in general.
If you find out she’s a rather low quality woman, don’t take it personal, and like a crazy woman, just move on as you’re better off without her.
That’s just how she is
Some women are just erratic in general.
Now, sometimes you won’t know this right off the bat and it can take a little time to pick up on this but if she’s constantly flaking, acting like a “diva,” has an “explosive temper,” and/or she has a lousy personality in general, chances are that’s just how she is.
Don’t take this personal as not only does she likely disrespect other men, but people in general.
Also, don’t try and justify her poor behavior. Let her play mind games with another guy and move on. Your sanity is too important.
You’re not a good fit for each other
Unfortunately, sometimes things won’t always work out with a particular woman.
Maybe you go on a few dates and as things progress, you continue to find out that the two of you have little in common or your personalities don’t jive up very well.
She’s a great woman, you’re a great guy, but the two of you are a bad fit for each other.
Perhaps you’re just not each other’s type.
Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.
Don’t beat yourself up over this as it’s nothing you have control over.
So, as you can see, there’s no reason to take “rejection” or “failures” personal when you have things in place. There’s so many variables and most are beyond your control.
One final thought I wanted to share with you is that during a cold run and such, you should NEVER start adjusting a solid foundation. Like they say, “If it a’int broken, don’t fix it.”
For example, when I used to play a lot of poker, like anyone, I would experience some nasty runs of variance from time to time. Seeing as I’ve always been pretty sharp at math, I knew this was to be expected and I wouldn’t get too upset over certain hands if I made correct mathematical plays as I knew I’d be a winner long term. However, some players weren’t so “patience,” shall we say, so not only would they get on a bad run but they would also abandon a solid game, and as a result, they would get cleaned even worse.
The same type of mistake can occur with women. You’ve had success before with the types of women you’ve wanted to meet in the past so you know you can get these types of women out for at the very least a first date.
Now, you’ve likely just ran into some of the above types of women who were either taken, non-compatible with you, or are just lousy women in general. Don’t take it personal and as with poker, don’t abandon a solid game plan. You’ll only make things worse.
Just remember that you’re a quality guy and there are lots of women out there who would love to meet you!