“How do I to talk to women?”
This is definitely an interesting question and one many men have wondered throughout the years.
In this article I will show you guys just how easy it is to talk to women and give you advice on how to talk to women in ANY situation.
In fact, talking to women is so simple that’s there’s only 3 parts to ANY conversation. You start the conversation, chit chat for a bit (the body), and seal the deal with a close of some sort.
Starting the conversation
There’s only 2 ways to start a conversation:
- Direct- You’re letting your intentions be known right off the bat. An example of this is, “Hey there, this is a bit forward of me, but I just noticed you as I was (whatever you were doing) and I thought you were really cute. I’m (insert name).”
- Indirect- This approach somewhat “disguises” your intentions and allows you to “fly under the radar.” It can work well as a woman doesn’t have to make a snap decision about you right there on the spot. When you start a conversation this way you’re usually making an observation about something around you.
After you’ve started the conversation you now need to transisiton into a normal conversation. (I call this the body)
The duration of this will vary depending on the situation. Generally, though, this will be anywhere from 30 seconds to possibly 15 minutes or longer if the two of you are clicking really well and she appears to have some free time.
I think if a lot of guys were to see a successful pickup from afar they’d be wondering what exactly the guy was saying verbally. They may think if could just hear him and memorize what he said that they too could have the same kind of success.
This is not true and what you actually say verbally does not matter that much. I do think, however, you should shy away from talking about religion, politics, or anything that will make you sound negative, but laregely, as long as you don’t give off a creepy vibe, what you say doesn’t really matter that much.
This should be just basic small talk.
Seeing as no two women are the same, some women will make things very easy for you as they’re very talkative and other women will be very shy and you’ll have to do all the work.
The main goal of the body is make her feel more comfrotbale around you.
I believe you should focus more on her but reveal a bit about yourself she becomes even more interested in you.
Closing is the easy part.
Remember, you’re an attractive guy, you started the conversation, she’s stuck around this long and now she’s likely dying for you to get her digits so you can set up that first date.
When I was doing a lot of cold approaching, I would often close with something as simple as “You know, wow, you are so cute. I’m really enjoying our conversation. Let me grab your number and we can go grab a coffee on Saturday afternoon.”
Now, sometimes, women will say they’re busy and if she doesn’t suggest another time, tell her you’ll just take her number and you’ll set something up another time.
If she says, “Well, I don’t know,” just tell her that’s okay, have a good day and move on. There’s no point trying to pursue a woman who isn’t interested.
Now that we covered just how easy it is to talk to women, let’s discuss a way for you to implement these 3 steps into ANY scenario you find yourself in .
I am solely referring to women you meet during the day who are total strangers.
Starting the conversation: I’ve always been a big fan of going direct here. I think it’s a good idea to let your intentions be known right off the bat. I don’t think there’s much point in going indirect unless there’s too many people around that possibly could hear you and make things very awkward. If you go indirect on the street and ask her for directions, for example, she’ll likely wonder why you’re still trying to talk to her after she gave you directions.
Body: Something relevant to the situation. Ask her what she’s doing and try to realte to her. The big thing here is just keep chatting for a bit.
Close: This will depend on the situation. If she appears to be busy, grab her number and set up something for another time. One thing that can be really cool is taking her for a coffee or drink right there on the spot if she appears to have some time.
This would be random women you meet in a bar or club setting. If you really want to improve your chances of success at the bar/club, strongly consider picking up a copy of the book Club Game.
Starting the conversation: I believe in going very direct with this approach. If it’s a dance club, there’s no point in beating around the bush as she likely can’t hear you very well to begin with. Let things be known right off the bat.
Also, since I CONSTANTLY talk about looking your best, don’t be surprised if a woman or two “opens” you throughout the night. This will make things VERY easy for you.
The Body: Talking to woman in a bar/club can be very difficult as it can be very loud and hard to hear. So, sometimes the body may actually be the two of you dancing and not chatting so much.
Close: Now, depending on the bar and such, a close may very well be pulling her back to your place that night. If it’s a happening club and she appears to be drinking, chances are she won’t remember you the next day so it may be best to pull her that night, if that’s your goal. If it’s a more social kind of environment and it wouldn’t be proper to try and pull her that night, then grab her number. The big thing is to use some judgement here.
This would include your immediate group of friends, coworkers, and people you see on a regular basis. Although social circles can be a great way to meet women, they certainly have their drawbacks.
Starting the conversation: It’s NEVER a good idea to go direct here. Trust me, I’ve made this mistake before and I don’t want you guys to do the same. It will make things awkward if things don’t go so well as you’re still forced to see her all the time. The great thing about a social setting, though, is that you get a lot of time before you finally “make your move.”
Body: This is just basic small talk. Since I don’t recommend going direct, sometimes the body of the conversation can take days, weeks, or even months for to you to find if she’s even single to begin with and if the two of you have anything in common. This is partially why I don’t recommend solely relying on your social circle for your dating. It can just take too long for things to develop.
Close: I recommend closing her in person even if you have her on some form of social media. I think it’s just better to do this face to face. Just set up a date as you would with any other woman.
This would include women you meet off ANY site or app. I think online dating will only become more popular in years to come.
Starting the conversation: To be brutally honest, pictures account for at least 75% of your success online so what is said is not super important. In my experiences, though, starting the conversation both direct and indirect, I found going direct was generally more effective on shallow apps whereas indirect could work well on standard dating sites. Again, if you have bad pics, it won’t matter how you start the conversation as she won’t be interested.
Body: This is just basic small talk but it will be online as opposed to in person.
Close: You need to get her offline so a close would be getting her out on a date in real life. You can set this up on the site or get her number to arrange things at a later time.
So, guys, as you can see, talking to women is a very simple process.
HOWVER, the actual verbal aspect of an interaction with a woman accounts for VERY LITTLE of your success.
A great analogy here is that of a prepared student. He attended classes all semester, completed all his assignements, did the recommended reading, studied hard prior to the exam and is now feeling rather at ease about it. He knows he’s ready.
The student did the majortiyy of the work BEFORE the exam.
The same thing applies to talking to women. All the hard work is done BEFORE the conversation even starts. It’s all about being in shape, being well dressed, having good grooming, and some passions and hobbies in your life.
However, some guys don’t want to hear this and unfortunately for their wallets, they will find someone who will tell them otherwise.
Guy will be told foolishness like you can “verbally” seduce women and get them interested solely by being “confident” or by “being an alpha male.”
This is so silly.
In fact, let’s go back to the student analogy again and this time plug in a student who didn’t attend classes regularly, didn’t complete many assignments, didn’t do much of the recommended reading, didn’t study for the exam but on the day of the exam he decided he was just going to be confident and he’d be an “alpha male” when he wrote the exam.
Obviously, the guy will do very poorly.
Likewise, guys who aren’t doing the “behind the scenes” stuff with their lifestyles can expect to do poorly with women as well.
Although different guys have different potential. it’s all being the best you can with what you have. When you do this with all areas of your life, not only will you feel more confident around women, you even bother thinking about being confident, and you’ll find women you want to talk want to walk to you as well ;)