Flaking is without a doubt one of the most frustrating things men will encounter out there in the dating world.

Flaking is when a woman cancels last minute, or does not show up for a date that was mutually agreed upon prior.

Let’s face it, getting flaked on SUCKS!

In fact, it can cause men to lose confidence and take a break from dating altogether.

You meet a cute girl, she seems interested, you have a date planned, and then it never happens.

I know the feeling and it’s not a good one.

Want to know the #1 reason why girls flake?



If a girls likes you, she will make EVERY effort possible to meet up with you.

I can still remember this girl I approached at the gym who was willing to skip her best friend’s birthday to meet up at a time I initially suggested.


Now that is eager to meet up.

Sometimes women give out their numbers to not appear rude but are really hoping you don’t call or text them.

Sometimes women change their minds too. (I think women do this from time to time?)

She liked you at the time but is trying to get back with her ex.

Or, perhaps she’s not so crazy about meeting up with a random stranger after all.

Despite what you may have read, there is NO fool proof way to completely eliminate flaking.

Sometimes it just happens.

You have any family members or friends who are flaky? You have plans set in stone, and surprise, surprise, they bail last second.

Is there any magical way to make these people more reliable and hold true to their word? Not really.

Women can be the same way. Some are just unreliable and flaky in general.

There’s no such thing as a “level” you get to where flaking completely ceases once and for all.

Although it is not possible to completely eliminate flaking, there’s certainly ways to reduce it:

1. Make it so you’re the kind of guy she wants to meet

As I say and will shout from the mountain tops, work on the essentials!

Don’t expect a lot of women to be too eager to meet up if you’re a sloppy mess with nothing going on in your life.

For example, let’s take an attractive, fit, young professional lady. She’s single and wants to meet a great guy.

Do you honestly think she wants to meet a guy who’s out of shape, has terrible style, no drive whatsoever, and can barely rub two cents together?

Taking care of the essentials is the BEST way to reduce flaking BY FAR!

2. Setting up plans in person.

I’ve always found setting up plans in person made women more likely to meet up. This obviously isn’t possible if it’s a first date with a woman you met through online dating.

3. Being decisive with the plans.

Have exact plans ready when you text her. Nothing turns women off more than, “I’m not really sure what we’re going to do. What did you want to do?” At the very least, have an idea of what you want to.

4. Confirming plans the day of the date

I believe you should ALWAYS confirm plans on the day of the date.

I also believe you should do so assuming the date is going to happen.

Example, “Hey! Hope your day is going good. I’ll see you at (wherever the date is) at (whatever time) tonight”

A poor text to send would be:

“Are we still on tonight at 8?”

Also, if a woman does not reply back to your text confirming the date, DO NOT show up. I can guarantee you that she won’t either.

There’s 2 types of flaking:

1. She straight up doesn’t show up.

This can happen from time to time to ANYONE. I’ve been lucky to not have this happen very often to me.

You show at the time agreed upon by both her and you, and she’s not there. You wait around and perhaps after 10-15 minutes you send her a text. No reply. Where is she?

Not only does she not show up, she doesn’t even let you know she’s not going to make it.

I can only think of 2 particular instances where this has happened to me.

2. She cancels basically last minute.

This is generally the more common type of flaking you will encounter.

Example: You have plans to meet her for a drink at 9 at a local pub. She texts you around 7 and cancels:

“Hey, not going to be able to make it now, something came up”

“Not going to be able to make it tonight, I’m pretty tired”

There is a HUGE difference between flaking and not being able to make it:

“Hey! So sorry. I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. I feel a flu coming on. Can we try for tomorrow instead? I hope to feel better by then.”

“I’m sorry but it’s my aunt’s birthday party tonight. I completely forgot when you asked me. Are you free on Friday? Sorry again.”

When a woman actually wants to meet, she’ll often indicate so in her message.

There’s flaky behavior as well. This is a bit different than flaking. Flaky behavior is when a woman is being indecisive and won’t commit to plans for the life of her.

An example would be saying “Maybe” all the time when you try and set up plans.

Also, when you send her a text and she replies several days down the road and says, “Sorry, I’ve just been so busy lately. I didn’t get a chance to reply until now.”

Now sometimes when you meet women more randomly (online dating and and during the day) they can initially be a bit more “cold”. They’re not  sure about you yet as they hardly know you. Then, after they meet you they gladly return your texts and can’t wait to see you again.

Unfortunately, this can go the other way too. Sometimes they don’t like you that much after the date and then start being flaky.

One thing you will likely encounter from time to time when you don’t bother texting/calling flakers back is this….

Sometimes they’ll actually text you a week or so down the road. I know it sounds weird, but it will happen from time to time.

I will say, though, when a girl does this, she almost certainly WILL meet up. She did make the effort to text you. Ultimately it will be up to you if you want to meet her. You may have already moved on.

Guys that take care of themselves and can meet the types of women they want will have no time for flakers.

They realize there’s tons of gorgeous women out that DO actually show up.

When you improve your physical appearance and work on your lifestyle, you become a hot commodity to women. You’re a rarity compared to the other guys they’ve been meeting.

If a girl does flake, there’s no need to lose your cool over it.

DO NOT get really mad and tell her off.

Why bother?

Women that flake/are flaky are not worth your time.

It says a lot about their personality. They’re obviously very inconsiderate, and most importantly……….


Closing Thoughts 

Although there’s no way to completely eliminate it, you can certainly reduce flaking.

Remember, there’s lots of women out there that would LOVE to meet you :)


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