So you met her and she’s interested.
The first date can be both an exciting and nerve racking event.
Some guys will have extreme levels of anxiety, while others, basically none if any at all.
Anxiety/nerves when meeting new women is usually due to of lack of dates.
Most guys will find over time, they’re rather relaxed and chill, regardless of how attractive the woman is.
Anyhow, regardless of your experience with women, you should totally be excited for a first date.
Maybe it’s your first date ever?(Congrats if it is. There will be plenty more to come.)
Maybe it’s the girl you’ve always liked at the gym? She was always checking you out and you finally had the balls to jazz it up with her and get the digits?
Maybe it’s a cutie you met online?
Maybe a friend from work hooked you up with one of his/her friends?
However you met her, nicely done!
Before I reveal some good first date ideas, I’d like to reveal 2 first dates that are absolutely TERRIBLE ideas:
1. The movies
Although this should be fairly obvious, some guys think it’s a good idea.
How can you get to know someone while watching a movie in the dark? Also, you’re not suppose to be talking.
If you’ve used the online dating site POF before, you likely know there’s a “first date” section you can fill out on your profile. I remember literally laughing out loud at what one girl put down for her first date idea,
“Ummm, probably the movies. Somewhere we can sit in each others presence without talking. It’s the best way to get to know someone. We can even go to different movies too if you’d like?”
I’m quite sure she was kidding?
2. Expensive dinner
There’s certainly nothing wrong with taking a woman out for a nice meal. It’s a VERY bad first date idea though.
You’ll need to get dressed up, as will she, and it can be very awkward sitting across the table from someone you hardly know while having a pricey meal at a fancy restaurant.
Another problem is the bill. This can lead to even more awkwardness when it comes time to squaring up,
Should we split it?
Am I suppose to pay?
It can also give off the impression of trying too hard.
I’m going to cover 4 first date ideas that I think are good options for you:
1. Coffee date
I’m going to cover this date in most depth. The points covered below however more or less apply to the other 3 dates as well.
Although a coffee date may not be the most exciting, it certainly has its advantages.
In fact, I strongly encourage guys who have not been on many dates before to use this as a default.
Let’s cover some of the advantages of a coffee date,
Inexpensive- Going on a coffee date shouldn’t generally run you any more than $10. I believe you should always offer to pay for her drink. If she gets there before you do she may have already grabbed a drink. In this case, the date will only run you a couple bucks.
Time- Generally speaking, a coffee date doesn’t last any longer than an hour. As much as I like online dating, I, along with other guys have most likely been catfished at one point or another. If she’s not quite “as advertised,” you can get out of there fairly quickly without expending a lot of time or financial means. Also, if you’re at the point in your life in hopes of finding”the one,” you can quickly dismiss women you wouldn’t want to be with 24 hours from now. Trust me, as you meet more women, you most certainly will get pickier.
Gets you experienced talking to women- Guys who haven’t spoke to many women before will often feel nervous interacting with them. Coffee dates will help you work on your social skills and get you more comfortable talking to women. Some women will be real chatterboxes and thus make it very easy for you. Some however, will hardly say a word and you will need to keep the conversation going yourself. You will also get you used to different personalities of different women.
As for what you should talk about?
This should really just be small talk. You want to find out about her passions and hobbies. You should reveal yours as well. If you like traveling and have done a lot of it, talk about that a bit. If she reveals she likes running or fitness, get her to expand on it. Don’t over think it too much. If she agreed to meet up with you, she already has at least some type interest in you. It’s a VERY bad idea to be negative. You shouldn’t be complaining about an ex or about how much you hate your job.
You should DEFINITELY compliment her at some point during the date. It can be at the start of the date or any point during it. This is not “beta” or “weak” behavior as some “gurus” claim. I can guarantee you that she spent a bit of time getting ready. She’ll be delighted you noticed
Something as basic as….
“That’s a nice top. It looks really cute on you” will most certainly make her face light up with a big smile.
I would avoid dropping a…..
I suggest going to local cafe if possible. It can be neat to go to a local/”hipster” style coffee shop. DO NOT suggest going to a fast food joint.
Also, depending on where you live/what time of the year it is/the weather, you could grab a coffee and go for a walk.
2. Drink/snack at a pub or bar
This is very similar to the coffee date except you are meeting for a drink/snack at a bar or pub. This makes more sense than a coffee if it’s an evening date. This is also a good idea for guys looking more for “casual flings”. If you go to a bar/club close to your place, you can always invite her back to your place if she appears “down”.
3. Game of pool
Sometimes this date turns into a combination of pool and a drink. This date can be fun. It will give you some opportunities to do some playful flirting and touching.
4. Mini putt
This date is very fun and casual. You could do an ice cream and mini putt date. As with pool, mini putting will give you some opportunities to do some playful flirting and touching,
“Let me show you how to grip the putter properly”
Some things that will impress women on the first date:
Showing up on time
I know, I know, this is common sense, right?
Well, actually, it really isn’t if you read certain blogs online.
I’ve once read showing up late proves you’re an “alpha male” and you have “better things to do.”
DO NOT show up late. In fact, I recommend being 5 minutes EARLY if possible. At the very least be on time. If you get stuck in traffic, or something comes up where you are going to be late, send a quick text to let her know. Showing up late on purpose is quite possibly the dumbest dating advice you could give someone.
I once read that if you show up early you run the risk of appearing “needy”. Ummm, if you show up early and she’s already there, doesn’t that make her needy too?
This reminds me of a girl I was hanging with that I met on Tinder. She said to me one day,
“I noticed you’re still using Tinder.”
“Well, if you noticed I’m still using it, doesn’t that mean you’re still using it too?”
Getting cleaned up
This is CRUCIAL for a good first date.
Nothing will turn her off more than poor hygiene/grooming.
For one, I STRONGLY recommend showering before the date. I prefer to use Old Spice body wash(smells amazing) as opposed to bar soap. Also, apply some deodorant under each pit. I also recommend a squirt or two of cologne. Just make sure you don’t the whole bottle on.
For hair, it’s up to you as to how you want to style it. If you usually apply a bit of gel, then do your thing.
For facial hair, I recommend having a trim if you have a beard, or any facial hair for that matter. If you do the clean shaven look, that’s fine too.
Seeing as I recommend something very casual for the first date, I also recommend dressing very casual. The biggest thing with clothing is to wear clothing that fits good. A nice pair of jeans, CLEAN shoes/sneakers, and a casual top is fine. It’s a bad idea to go overdressed.
You should now be ready to go!
Now you don’t have to drive the exact speed limit, but fairly close to it is your best bet. It would be quite embarrassing to get pulled over for speeding.
Also, DO NOT squeal tires pulling out of a parking lot. Could you imagine if you ran into another vehicle, or even worse a person?
If you’re coming across as a reckless driver, she’ll assume you’re reckless in other areas of your life.
Also, make sure you car is clean.
Using vulgar and profane language will be a total turn off for the majority of women.
You can express yourself/get your point across without using foul language.
Yeah, sure, the odd word can slip but don’t get carried away. No women is going to be disappointed because you weren’t dropping fbombs all night.
This NEVER happens.
I’m a big believer that you should ALWAYS go for a kiss at the end of the date, possibly even before if an opportunity arises.
Sure, sometimes a woman will turn a cheek if there was no chemistry, but I am big believer you should always go for one.
If you met her at the location for the date, after the date is over, you could say, “Let me walk you to your car”, hold her hand, and then lean in for a kiss before you part ways.
If you picked her up, you can just lean in for the kiss before she gets out of your vehicle when you drop her off.
If you sense things are going/went really well, you can always line up the next date before the first one is even over.
It’s always a great feeling to have a good date. It will most certainly improve your confidence and self esteem.
Best of luck to everyone out there with their dates!