Guys will little dating experience often believe they can get ANY girl.
They assume THEY did something wrong if they were rejected.
Although the guy may have been too nervous and the woman didn’t get a good glimpse of his real personality, lots of times, you have no control over certain interactions.
Some women you approach will be “available” and some will be “unavailable.”
Let’s cover the 2 a bit more:
Available: An available girl is one that is first and foremost single.
This girl could be an option for you. The reason I say could is because she will have her preferences just as you have yours.
If you haven’t taken care of the essentials yet, she may not be interested even though she’s available.
Shared common interests come into play, and what you are looking for/what the girl is looking for is also a factor.
She may be looking for nothing serious and casual hookups, she may be looking for a boyfriend, or she may be looking for something more serious and hoping to find “the one”.
When you are rejected by an available girl, it usually comes down to her preferences, and is nothing to take personal assuming you have the essentials down.
Unavailable: An unavailable girl is NOT an option for you.
We’ve all likely met a girl like this before,
She’s gorgeous, great personality, stylish, you have tons in common with her, she’s loyal, and would make the perfect wife/mother but……
-she has a long term boyfriend
-she’s just met a new guy.
There is NOTHING you can do/could have done to win her over. She is NOT an option for you!
Now, I’m making things pretty black and white. There’s obviously some gray area too.
There’s women who are available but are taking a break from men at the moment unless somone really great comes along.
There’s also women who are actually taken but are looking for something better, women who are not so loyal to begin with, and women who are on the outs with their current boyfriend.
Just as men can’t help who they’re attracted to, neither can women. Although a woman may actually be married or have a boyfriend, chances are she’d be rather flattered if you approached her with a romantic intention.
Let’s flip this around. Imagine as a guy you were approached by a rather attractive woman who was interested in you but you were taken yourself. You likely wouldn’t say,
“Ewww, get away from me you gross pig.”
You’d be quite flattered yourself even though you couldn’t do anything about it. (Assuming you are a loyal husband/boyfriend)
I will say ,too, if you know for sure that a woman is taken, it’s often not the best idea to pursue her. There’s lots of great single women out there.
An instance of this comes to mind. A guy I work with was always talking about this cute paramedic that came into the emergency department. Anyhow, he said he couldn’t stop flirting with her. He knew she had a boyfriend, but figured he could get the boyfriend out of the picture. He succeeded in doing just that, and dated her for a while. Eventually this girl got into depot for the RCMP(Royal Canadian Mounted Police). They continued to date while she in training and a couple thousand kilometers away. Long story short, she met another guy while training and ditched him.
Ultimately the decisions you make with women, and your life in general are up to you. Just keep in mind, though, if you pry her away from her boyfriend, who’s to say she won’t ditch you for another guy down the road?
When meeting random women during the day or at bars, you really have no idea what the woman’s status is.
When it comes to women and dating, it will always be a numbers game.
Back when I was learning to meet women during the day, I would see extreme variations of women being available and unavailable.
I can think of a prime example of this one day when I was out “practicing” as we’ll call it. I did the usual 45 minute to an hourish drive to get to a place of more abundance.
I remember being pumped up this day. I had the goal of approaching at least 10 women. I had been it at now for about month and already had a few dates because of it.
Although I do need keep stats/go home and do spreadsheets with results, I do remember on this particular day going out and get blown out 12 times in a row.
Not only was it 12 blowouts in a row, most were quick ones at that.
I remember thinking this day,
“Can I really meet women during the day?”
I did actually get my first few dates fairly early into things so I was expecting big things all the time.
On this particular day, I ran into a lot of unavailable women and probably some available ones who were NOT interested in me for one reason or another.
As I was about to drive back home, I figured I should stop at the grocery store as I needed a to grab a few things. I may as well get them here I thought. Plus, it was 4 pm so I thought that I might get the chance to approach another woman.
So I’m grabbing a few things and next thing you know I see this gorgeous mixed race girl heading down an aisle.
I immediately go down the aisle I’m on and the up the next aisle hoping to catch her in the middle.
I see her coming down the aisle and I pretend to be looking at pasta sauce.
It was busy in this aisle so I knew I had to time things perfectly. I also knew going direct would have very socially awkward.
I see her out of the corner of my eye and knew it was go time.
I turned around to her and said, holding a bottle of pasta sauce, “Have you ever tried this one before?”
She said “No, I always use this one” pointing to another brand.
I noticed by looking into her cart that she only had healthy food in it
I said, “You’ve got a a healthy cart there, are you into fitness or something?” (I know, look at me go throwing a cold read in there :P)
She said she was and the conversation quickly switched into fitness.
A few minutes into the conversation, we found out we were both Boston Celtic fans.
We had great chemistry and she was incredibly gorgeous.
After chatting for about 10 minutes, I closed with, “I must say you are quite attractive, let me grab your number and we’ll get together real soon.”
She gave me her number and we parted ways.
I ended up meeting her about week later for a coffee.
Ultimately, the date did not go so well. I was running on less than 2 hours sleep after finishing a 12 hour night shift. I pumped 2 xl coffees into me before the date just to stay somewhat awake. This woman was very attractive and the whole idea of meeting women through the day was still a little “green” to me at the time. I wasn’t really sure if it would continuously “work”.
I must say, looking back, this was a rather weird period in my life. It was about a 3 and a half month stretch where I spent a fair bit of my free time first on the streets, and then in malls approaching random women during the day. That being said, I don’t actually regret it.
The dots fully connected for me on this availability thing one day at the mall. A girl that seemed very interested in me said, “Well, I would but I’m not available. I have a boyfriend” when I tried to set up a date.
I remember thinking back to the day I met the mixed race girl at the grocery store. Of all the women I approached that day she was by far the most attractive, and she also happened to be available and open to meeting a guy, whereas the other women that day were not interested for one reason or another.
I think once guys realize a lot of the time, there’s nothing you could have/should have done any differently, it’s a huge relief.
As guys likely know, sometimes when you approach random women(at bars, during the day, or online dating) things come off as “magical.” The woman responds VERY positively to you and is excited to meet you for a date. This has NOTHING to do with better “game”. She was available, and she was interested in you.
A lot of times guys are fooled into thinking ANY girl can be “gamed” if done properly which is definitely not true.
So assuming you have taken care of the essentials (or at least working on them), and you can talk to women NORMALLY, there’s likely nothing you could have/should have done differently!