What exactly does cold approach mean?
Cold approach as quoted by the urban dictionary, “To approach and start a conversation with a total stranger, usually with a romantic intention”
For those of us who have tried some cold approach before, we all know how mixed the results can be.
This article is solely referring to daytime cold approach. This means women you meet throughout the day at places such as malls, coffee shops, gyms, crossing the street, etc., etc.
When approaching random women out and about during the day, you really have no idea as to what their relationship status is.
If you are not getting any eye contact or a smile from the woman, the results from cold approach can be quite low at times.
Generally speaking, AT LEAST 50% of the women you approach will be unavailable. They have a boyfriend, they’re married, engaged, or they’re involved in some type of relationship.
Generally speaking, another 10% of them will be available, but will not meet up with a stranger. This is regardless of how good looking you are, or how “tight” your game is. It’s just a little too random for them.
Generally speaking, another 10% of them will be neither attracted nor interested in you. They’re available but do no find you attractive, or they have nothing in common with you. She may be flattered you approached her, admires your confidence, but has no desire to see you again. (If you haven’t taken care of the essentials yet, this will be WAY higher than 10%)
This generally leaves us about 20-30% of women that COULD meet up with you for at the very least a first date.
When using the %’s of 20-30%, this is completely a guess based off of my experiences. Some guys depending on where they live could argue that number to be too high or too low.
When cold approaching early on, it’s quite common to have high levels of anxiety. Not uncommon to have sweaty palms, a racing heart, nervous body language, words coming out in a awkward manner, or other nervous tics.
This lack of confidence/high levels of anxiety can prevent the “real you” from shining. You’re generally a funny person, a kind person, a relaxed person. The anxiety though is not letting her see the real you.
Some let’s go over some pro’s and con’s of cold approach:
-You can meet absolutely gorgeous women you would have never met otherwise-
In my opinion this could very well be the best reason to learn cold approach.
That stunning blond you see as you are out grabbing groceries practically has you drooling.
She’s GORGEOUS, curves in all the right places, dressed to the nines, and is EXACTLY your type (physically speaking anyways).
If you learn cold approach, have the essentials down, and she is available, rather than being a girl you go home and fantasize about, you go on a date with her instead.
This opens up a whole new world of options for you that you would have never had otherwise.
-Once you can meet gorgeous women during the day, everything else is EASY-
Another great reason to learn cold approach.
Once you can meet gorgeous women during the day and get them on dates, any other way you meet women will be easy.
Prime example, you’re in college and around gorgeous women all the time. You can now talk to these women with ease. I don’t recommend wandering around the campus doing “sets,” though. Doing direct approaches with these women will make you come off as a creep.
You work in a place loaded with beautiful women. You can now “loosen up” so to speak and talk to these women as well. Avoid going direct in this scenario. Also, be cautious about dating co workers in general.
A social gathering you attend regularly has women you’ve always wanted to meet but never had the courage to speak to before. Again, just like college and work, avoid going direct.
You’ll also be able to talk to women in bars with ease. There will be no need to get boozed up to gain “liquid courage”.
Direct cold approach should only be used on a woman you’ll likely never see again.
Can lead to extremely high levels of confidence in other areas of your life-
This is one thing that most guys don’t realize about cold approaching.
Being able to successfully approach and get gorgeous women out on dates, is by far the toughest way to meet women. There’s no music pumping and you have to keep the conversation flowing yourself.
Once you get to the level where you KNOW you can consistently get gorgeous women out on dates, you’ll often wonder what else you’re capable of doing.
Perhaps you’ll take the plunge and start an online business.
Perhaps you’ll enroll in an educational program you’ve always wanted to.
Perhaps you’ll finally ace that interview and get your dream job.
Women actually LIKE to be approached during the day-
There are tons of women out there that would LOVE to meet you.
Lots of women do not go to the bars. They do not have an online dating profile. They’re not meeting guys through their social circle, or perhaps don’t even have much of one. They’re busy professionals and don’t have a lot of time to meet guys.
She would be absolutely delighted to meet you while out grabbing some groceries, shopping at the mall, or crossing the street. Even unavailable women will still be quite flattered.
You WILL get rejected a lot-
Notice how I said will get rejected a lot?
In capital letters at that?
I’m not going to sugarcoat things.
It’s not that you might get rejected, or that you could get rejected. You most definitely will get rejected, and……. A LOT!
As was previously stated, generally speaking 20-30% of women you approach COULD potentially meet up with you for at the very least a first date.
That means 70-80% of the time you will get rejected.
For guys who do not like rejection, and it really bothers them, this can be tough to swallow.
However, at least 50% of the women you approach, not only were they not an option for you, they were not an option for ANYONE! (Yep, even your favorite PUA would have been blown out. Hard to believe isn’t it? )
You will more than likely get labeled a “creep” if you do it too often-
This will obviously depend on where you live. If you live in a big city, it’s less likely you’ll be noticed.
When I was first learning how to do this, I was living in a small town, and I truly believe I was being labeled a huge creep/weirdo by various women around.
I had to take a 45 minute drive to get a place of more abundance to “practice”.
I live in Canada too so it’s FREEZING cold from October-May.
This meant I had to do my approaches indoors. This also meant I had to do them at a mall with about 40 stores in it. And, since I was showing up there a lot and it wasn’t always that busy, people noticed me.
I actually approached 4 different women that all worked at the same La Senza store over a 2 month period (I know right).
You’ll look weird showing up a mall all the time(more so if it’s small) and NOT ACTUALLY shopping.
Here I was going in and out of stores and not actually buying anything. Trust me, people notice.
You know absolutely nothing about her-
This can be both a good and bad thing.
It can be good as you slowly get to know more about her.
It can be bad though because she may be the type of woman you DO NOT want to meet AT ALL!
She may be unemployed, have 3 kids, be a heavy drug user, or have a terrible personality.
I mean you can somewhat weed out these types of women out by the way they’re dressed and carrying themselves, but one never knows for sure.
I can think a perfect example of this one day.
It was a hot summer day and I just got back from the gym. I decided to go for a walk up the street to finish off my workout.
Anyhow, I see this cute brunette walking by. I approached her, chatted with her for a few minutes, and then grabbed her number.
I tried to set something up with her that night but she had to work.
Anyways, she was a big texter and texted me quite a bit the next day.
I come to find out she works at a fast food joint, but the real shocker were the pictures she sent me. She sent me a couple pics of her kissing her pet rats.
Needless to say, I did not meet up with her.
Again, this girl was cute, but was NOT the type of woman I wanted to meet at all.
It can be VERY time consuming-
Cold approaching can be very time consuming.
There’s really no guarantees as to how things will play out.
As I said, generally speaking 20-30% of women you see out and about COULD be an option for you. This is over time, though.
The fact you will get rejected 70-80% of the time, means you will have more failures than successes.
In fact, it’s quite possible you could approach 10 random women this afternoon and get blown out 10 times in a row. The 10 women you approached, happened to fall into the 70-80% that were not an option for you for one reason or another.
I truly believe every guy should learn how to cold approach.
It truly is the “big daddy” of all “game”.
It’s like an added weapon in your arsenal.
As was already stated, once you can do this, any other you meet women will be easy
Nowadays I don’t actually “hit the streets” pumping out “sets”.
In fact, my success rate with cold approach these days is VERY high. The reason for that is because I really only do it when women give me strong eye contact or a smile.
I will also do it if a woman is too gorgeous not to approach. Worst case scenario, I get rejected.
So next time you see a beautiful woman you want to talk to, GO FOR IT! You never know what could happen :)