Although I get emails here and there on pretty random things, one thing I seem to get asked about the most is my article on cold approach.
I’ve more or less been asked 3 different questions about that article and thought I’d take the time to answer them now.
“Does cold approach actually work? You seem to be a fan”
Yes, cold approach “works.”
If you can talk to women NORMALLY, she’s an option, and interested, how could it not work?
Think about it. Let’s say, for example, you are single and out grabbing groceries and you see a woman you find very beautiful. Seeing as you’re single, would you not be interested in perhaps getting to know her? You’re already attracted to her, who knows, maybe she’s single as well?
Think about this from a woman’s standpoint. If she’s single, has a busy schedule, and isn’t meeting any men through her co-workers or friends, why wouldn’t she want at the very least to go on a first date with a well put together guy?
If you take care of the physical aspects of the essentials, there will DEFINITELY be women who will be physically attracted to you as you go about your day to day routines. It’s only natural. Just as men can’t help who they’re attracted to, neither can women.
Even though technology is killing our social skills as a whole, I think it will always be normal for people to meet face to face.
In fact, it’s quite funny that talking to women during the day can be labeled as “cold approach” or “daygame.” In reality, it’s just two people talking to each other.
I know a guy at a gym I was once going to who did all kinds of “cold approach.” Apparently this guy was a real “dog” and was flirting relentlessly wherever he went. This could be while he was grabbing lunch, groceries, or shopping at the mall. I believe he was having quite good success with it as he was quite friendly, had a good job, and his looks were really top notch. I can quite confidently say that this guy would NOT have thought of himself as “cold approaching,” nor do I think he’s EVER heard of “game” before. I’m quite sure if you were ask him what his thoughts were on “cold approach” he would reply with a, “What the $%^& is cold approach? I was just talking to a girl I thought was cute.”
Now having said that I definitely believe cold approach can “work,” I also pointed out some of the downfalls of it in that article as well.
I think the downfall I wanted to touch on the most was the “being labeled a creep” thingy.
As I said, if you live in a smallish area, you most certainly will get noticed for doing this. Being labeled the “pickup guy” is NOT a cool thing. It could seriously harm your social life and even give you a bad reputation at the office. If you “let loose” with cold approach in a small area, you’re almost certain to eventually hit on a girl that knows someone you know. It’s not very common for this happen to a woman, so she’ll most definitely be telling her friends and whoever else. Something for you to keep in mind.
“Where is the best place to cold approach?”
It seems like some people want to know that exact spot to meet women during the day. They’re expecting me to say something like, “The best place to meet women during the day is the grocery store on 72nd street. There’s ALWAYS tons of cute, single women there.”
It’s very difficult to say any one place is the “best.”
It would depend a lot on what you have to offer and your competition. But, since guys have asked, I’ve decided to mention a few spots:
Streets– I would have to say the streets are quite possibly the WORST place to meet women during the day. No lie, I’ve had the least amount of success with this on the streets. Women are generally going somewhere and unless they give you some strong eye contact insinuating they would actually like to be approached, they may be somewhat surprised you approached them and even unfriendly. I certainly DO NOT recommend “setting up shop” on the streets.
Grocery Store– This is actually the place I’ve had the most amount of success. For some reason, women seem to be very open to being approached at the grocery store. Unlike the streets, women generally have a little more time here. Obviously it takes a bit of common sense here, though. If you see diapers, a family pack of juice-boxes, a shopping cart filled to the top, and a wedding ring on her finger, it’s safe to assume she’s most likely married. Conversely, if you happen to just see a few things, it’s much more likely she’s single.
Mall/Stores– The mall/stores were a close second to the grocery store. Just like the grocery store, women tend to have a little more time on their hands as opposed to the streets. Another HUGE bonus about the mall/stores is that they tend to attract a lot of women. (as you may or may not know, women tend to like shopping) The malls/stores, however, will still require some common sense on your behalf. You’ll look really creepy going into women’s clothing stores and hitting on women. Even worse, you’d likely have security called on you as well. Also, just randomly wandering around and not shopping will look really weird and it’s almost as if women can sense you’re just out “approaching.”
I suppose to answer this question, the best place to meet women during the day would be any place you had to go anyways. It will feel the most natural.
“What kind of stats can I expect?”
“Stats” are something that some people obsess over for some reason.
When you “cold approach,” it’s so random that it’s pointless to keep “stats.” A lot of time you really have little control over the outcome. If you were to keep “stats”, you could encounter periods where the women weren’t buying what you were selling, and assuming your product was up to snuff, you can’t do much about it.
Although I can’t argue that cold approach can “work,” my biggest critique of “gamey”/pickup stuff is their VERY flawed method. For one, there’s really no “skill” to it. If you were to do a Google search you’d see all kinds of complicated “models” with tons of steps. Complete foolishness!
The biggest beef I have with it, though, are the suggested “drills.” A lot of the advice includes foolish drills like “approach 50 women this week.” Now one positive of actually doing that is that you would DEFINITELY increase your odds of meeting women as opposed to someone who is taking no action. But, back to the negatives of this. Unless you live in a real big city, you may find it difficult to find the time, and enough women you’d actually be interested in meeting to begin with.
I found over time that I actually had better results with less approaches. One of the reasons for this was because I could spot when women were interested in me. Although this can hard to describe in words, the “eyes don’t lie.”Also, I started only approaching women I was actually attracted to as opposed to “practicing” on women I had ZERO interest in anyways. Sometimes you just don’t know what can happen. I’ve met some women before that would be considered very attractive who gave me no initial eye contact. I was attracted to them, and therefore I approached.
So in essence, you may actually have better results by only approaching 5 women as opposed to just randomly approaching 50 women. This will give with you more free time to pursue your hobbies, increase your bank account, and prevent you from looking like a fool who runs up and down the street all day spam approaching women.
Don’t worry about stats, nor keep them.
I hope this article tied up some “loose ends” and answered some questions several of you asked me in regards to this. If you any more questions, just ask below.