Although talking to women is a fairly simple process, being able to close is the more important part of any interaction.
You can be the exact type of guy women want to meet, but if you can’t seal the deal, you’re not going to get very far.
Yeah, sure, if you’re a ridiculously good looking guy women may approach you, but it’s still going to be up to YOU to pull the trigger.
Let me put this into perspective from a baseball point of view.
Most baseball fans have likely heard of Mariano Rivera before. Riviera is a retired relief pitcher for the New York Yankees. He is undoubtedly one of the greatest closer’s baseball has ever seen.
If say, Derek Jeter were to hit an RBI single in the bottom of the 8th inning to put the Yankees ahead 4-3, more times than not, the Yankees could rely on him to close out the game and give the Yankees the win.
I mean, what good is it for a team to play well for 8 innings, take the lead at some point, and then blow it in the 9th inning to a team you had outplayed the entire game prior?
Closing is not only crucial in sports, but with women as well.
Forget the great conversation and balls you had to initially “jazz it up” with her as it all means NOTHING if you can’t close.
About a month ago I went to the beach one afternoon with this girl that I was once dating/kinda “chilling” with a lot/kind of confusing as to what out “official” relationship status was. Anyhow, seeing as we’re just friends now, it’s totally ok for us to talk about other people.
While driving to the beach the dating app Tinder got brought up. She told me how annoyed she was with the majority of guys on it. She said most guys just message back and forth without ever trying to set anything up.
She even told me that SHE actually asked a guy if he wanted to go grab a drink since he seemed to be just screwing around.
This was no shock to me. Having used online dating on and off for quite a few years now, I know that although women may have many potential suitors, most guys are pretty clueless, and can’t move things along. ( I have lots to say in regards to online dating in the future)
Back when I was in my late teens to early 20’s I was quite clueless and often couldn’t tell when a woman was interested. There were times when I was talking to quite a few women, but often didn’t close.
As I already said here, if you goof around too much, you can potentially lose an interested girl to a guy who actually moves things forward and sets up that first date. Also, if you play around too much she may get fed up with you and not be interested when you do finally ask her on a date.
There’s no doubt that different guys will be in different stages of their lives and thus have different goals.
For guys with short term mating goals, this is essentially hookups. The bar is often thought of as the best spot for that. There’s arguably some truth to that. If hookups are your goal, you greatly increase your odds by putting yourself in a bar/club/party as opposed to cold approaching during the day.
Closing is EVERYTHING at the bar.
Although I do not go out that much anymore, I have to say I’ve been out quite a few times this summer. I had a lot of vacation time, and a friend was visiting who wanted to go out a bit.
Anyhow, one night, about 3 weeks ago stood out to me. My friend was in the process of breaking up with his girlfriend and was on the phone a lot before we headed out.
He was quite upset, and although he seemed devastated, he seemed to know deep down that the relationship was unhealthy and was having a damaging effect on his mental state.
We walked in together, had a drink out on the deck, but somehow lost each other rather quickly.
Anyhow, although I rarely ever drink (sometimes I go 4 months without even a sip of alcohol), I was drinking that night and decided to get another drink at the bar. Almost immediately after grabbing my drink this cute blond in tight green shorts and a cowboy hat approached me and said, “Hey, how’s it going?”
She then went to say we went on a date earlier in the spring but I didn’t text her back. I wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about but decided to play along anyways. It was quite loud inside the bar so I told her, “Let’s go outside on the deck .”
Even though I had a few drinks in me, it was obvious that she was very into me.
After talking for only a couple minutes she asked me if I wanted to go for pizza. Now seeing as I came with my friend and told him he could sleep on my couch, I did text him, for one to see where he was, and to see what he was up to. He replied he’d be over after and I said I’d leave the door unlocked for him.
Now I must admit that this girl made it VERY easy for me. She approached me and somewhat did part of the close for me. However, it was ultimately up to me to bring her back to my place. Seeing as there are tons of pizza places between this bar and my place, I obviously picked the one closest to my place. Although this would have been very hard for me to screw up, I could have taken her to a pizza place nowhere near my place and then parted ways with her for the night.
Now this is a pretty extreme example. This particular girl made it essentially effortless for me. The majority of the time, though, you will have to approach the woman at the bar.
If you’re looking your best, though, don’t be shocked if women approach you from time to time at the bar. Women, like men, CANNOT help who they’re attracted to. I’m quite sure if I was well overweight, didn’t shower for a couple days, and threw on some clothes from the hamper that I would get ZERO female attention when I go out.
The harsh reality is that a lot of times your interactions are predetermined (think WWE ). If she’s not available, you probably won’t get her. And even if you can, will you feel morally good about it, or if she leaves her boyfriend for you, who’s to say she won’t leave you down the road?
If you’re her “type,” and she’s an option, it’s just a matter of you pushing things along.
Are you a closer?