Seeing as I recommend The Mating Grounds, I decided it was only fitting to buy the book “Mate” and see what it was all about.
Mate was released on September 15th of this year, and is co-authored by Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller. The book covers a wide array of topics, such as mindset, physical fitness/attractiveness, effectively displaying your attractive traits, choosing the right mating market, and putting a plan together to help you achieve your goals.
To start off, there’s 2 things that really stood out to me while reading this book:
- Excellent editing– Too many books are FILLED with grammar/spelling errors, and missing words (I know, I make some errors myself). This book, however, will not leave you disappointed in that regard.
- Ease of reading– Not everyone considering this book will have graduated with a doctorate from Harvard. The good news? This book is not overly verbose. In other words, you won’t need a dictionary in front of you the whole time while reading it. It was written for the average, everyday person. Also, it’s quite comical, and there are no shortage of laughs in it. I literally laughed out loud multiple times while reading it. This is good as it is about 380 pages in length (including bibliography), and I’m quite sure most people have read books before that nearly put them to sleep. This will not be the case with Mate.
Now, for the actual content of the book. The book starts with an introduction, and then branches off to 5 different steps. Each step consists of several chapters that break down each step even further. There’s 21 chapters in total.
The book seems to be heavily focused on a concept that’s introduced in the introduction section of the book. That concept is a “win-win” scenario. You’re a high-quality guy, and she’s a high-quality women. With this concept, both sexes mutually benefit, and there’s no trickery or “game” needed. This book encourages you to be honest not only with yourself about your mating goals, but also with the women you interact with.
Although I am not going to review every single chapter, I am going to briefly discuss ones that really stood out to me.
Chapter 2: Understanding what it’s like to be a woman- Although some of the points in this chapter may appear obvious or seem like common sense, most guys don’t consciously think about them. This chapter offers great insight on what it’s like to be a woman. Knowing this will put you light years ahead of the typical guy and help you better understand women. Chapter 4: “Understand what women women want…and why” details what women want and look for in a partner. Lots of guys don’t consciously think about what’s mentioned in this chapter either.
Chapter 5: Get in shape- Now seeing as I’m a fitness enthusiast, I found this chapter particularly engaging. I especially enjoyed the detailed write-up about the importance of sleep. Most guys do not sleep enough, and as a result, are not at their best physically or mentally. My only critique of this chapter and the book as a whole was the section on nutrition. I felt it was a little too brief and simplistic, and could have been expanded on a bit more. The guys do, however, recommend you check out other sources for more details. To finish off the chapter, the guys suggest other forms of exercise if, say, lifting weights at the gym is not your thing.
Chapter 9: The tender defender This chapter goes into detail about how having a tender/generous side is attractive, but also to know when to be decisive, assertive, and take action. This chapter is great in my opinion because it explains the proper balance. The advice in this chapter is much different than your typical manosphere garbage about being a dominant “alpha male” 24/7, and never “letting your guard down.” Although confidence is attractive, most women can’t stand an overly confident, overly dominate, “try-hard.”
Chapter 13: Stylin and profilin Style and grooming is VERY important to women. It’s something I will be covering more in the months to come. So many guys miss the boat on this, and it doesn’t take much to be just a bit better than the average guy. In this chapter, the guys debunk a common myth about men dressing better. It’s sometimes thought that only “gays,” “metros,” or “feminine men” care about fashion and grooming. This is so wrong. As was said in the chapter, “A high level of aesthetic proof doesn’t make you a pussy; it drowns you in it.” How true! Some men feel nervous about stepping out of their comfort zone when it comes to style and grooming. Trust me, higher-quality women will LOVE the fact that you paid more attention to detail when it came to your clothing and grooming. Don’t worry about what your buddies say, those “property of the New England Patriots” shirts are best served for wearing on Sundays while watching the game, NOT while out on a date!
Chapter 14: Show her how you feel- This chapter goes into great detail about ways to show her how you feel without coming off as the creepy guy who says something like, “Do you like me as much as I like you?” A lot of guys slip up here. Showing your interest is not necessarily just about professing it verbally. In fact, the guys cover certain things you can do to prove your interest in her without even saying a word (hint: listening is one of them). Don’t worry, she won’t think your a “beta male” or “pussy” for showing interest and put you in the “friend zone.” This “bad boy” thingy is beyond foolish!
Chapter 15: Find the right mating markets Now without a question, this was BY FAR my FAVORITE chapter in this book. Lots of guys don’t even consider moving to a new area for a better mating market. Perhaps you have things in order, but your current location is holding you back from having the relationship(s) you desire with women? Now I don’t believe you’ll go from a “dud” to a “stud” in “location x” if you don’t have things in place, but moving may be a total game changer IF you do have things in place. This chapter covers things such as size of city, sex ratio, a place your age is attractive, a place where your traits are attractive, and the ease of meeting people. If you like Hispanic women and there’s little to none where you live, you may want to consider moving to place where they’re more abundant.
Chapter 17: Meeting the women you want This chapter offers great insight on where to meet women. Lots of guys consider bars and clubs the ONLY place to meet women. They’re always gauging their results with women as to how they do in a bar/club setting. Sure, you may do well at a bar/club, but not every guy will. Some guys don’t like the environment, and it doesn’t allow them to reveal much about themselves other than their physical appearance. This chapter suggests that women be a part of your larger social circle, which will help you meet women you already have shared common interests with. Some of the the ideas discussed in this chapter were probably things you never even considered before. Although some guys may not consider going to dance class an “alpha” move, the ratios are amazing, and women love it when men can dance well. At a gym I once went to, a guy who went to yoga class ended up marrying the instructor. Is there anything “beta” about that?
Chapter 21: Create your mating plan and go forth The final chapter helps you put your mating plan in action so you can ACTUALLY meet the type of woman you want to meet.
Overall, I HIGHLY recommend “Mate,” and believe it will help get closer to your goals IF you are willing to put the knowledge you learn in action. This book doesn’t offer any bogus “shortcuts.” You will have to put in some hard work to become the man women want to meet. The payoff, however, will be worth it!
You can buy Mate here
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