As much as they suck, every guy is likely to experience a bad date or two from time to time.
Today I wanted to share with you 4 potential reasons why:
When meeting women more randomly (at the bar, during the day, or through online dating) you often know very little about them.
Although there may be TONS of mutual physical attraction, an emotional connection is not a guarantee.
She eagerly meets you for a date, but then when it happens, things don’t go quite as planned.
She doesn’t laugh at your jokes, there’s tons of awkward silences, you don’t share the same world views, and/or you basically have nothing in common with her at all.
There’s nothing you can really do about this. There’s some women you just won’t be compatible with.
One of you is having a bad day or week
Perhaps work has been the pits as of late? It seems like you can’t do anything right and your boss is constantly breathing down your neck.
Perhaps you received some bad news about a friend or family who’s seen better days health wise?
Perhaps you’re stressed out about an unexpected expense?
Perhaps you’re just burnt out from working all the time?
When you initially met her you were full of energy, but then once out on the date your mind was on something else, and you weren’t the same guy she initially met.
I would like to caution guys not to schedule dates around times you know you may not be your best for one reason or another. I’ve made this mistake before myself. I’d set up dates after working multiple 12 hour shifts in a row and feel exhausted the night of the date. Sometimes you may have to meet up in instances like this due to conflicting schedules, but try not to set things up like that if possible.
Also, keep in mind that perhaps she’s the one having a bad day or week. Maybe she’s stressed out from work or received some sort of bad news? This is nothing to take personal as it’s nothing you did wrong nor anything have any control over either.
She doesn’t quite match up to your standards
As you meet more women and go on more dates, you’ll become more picky. I GUARANTEE IT!
I think guys who haven’t met many women before will often feel happy to get any kind of female attention from a relatively attractive woman. If her personality is lousy and she reveals a few things that are a huge turn-off, you may tolerate it anyways since you don’t think you can get any better.
I remember this past winter meeting up with a woman from Tinder and it was quite possibly the worst catfishing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I thought I was on a dating prank show or something and at any moment the producers and camera crew were going to come out from hiding and say, “Smile, dude, you’re on totally hidden camera.”
This woman looked NOTHING like she did in her pics and seemed to be lying about basically EVERYTHING. She showed up a few minutes late and just reeked of cigarette smoke (smoking is quite the possibly the biggest turn-off EVER for me). She lied about her work and seemed very negative in general.
I think I may have stayed for 10 minutes (tops) and then said, “I have to be honest, I really don’t see this going anywhere. I’m gonna take off. Good luck with things.”
There’s no need to be rude about things. I think it’s much better to be honest about things rather than staying because you didn’t want to offend her. Also, there’s really no point in investing any more of your time with a woman you have no interest in.
Unfortunately, these kind of things can happen from time to time when using online dating no matter how much you try and “weed out” these types of women.
Not going on many dates before
I’m going to cover this reason in most depth as I believe it’s likely the main reason guys have some bad dates from time to time.
If you haven’t been on many dates before, chances are you’ll be a nervous wreck.
I think most guys will likely transition through “levels” we’ll say. At first, some guys will be happy to just be on a date with basically any woman. She’s a female and is giving you some attention. Eventually, though, you step out of your comfort zone and get a date lined up with a real stunner. Generally, this is where guys start slipping up. They’re either really uptight/nervous or just try too hard. They don’t let their true personality shine, and as a result, she doesn’t see the “real you.”
Although I’m 30 now, I didn’t really meet a lot of women until I was about 24ish/25. Yeah, sure, I had some scattered dates here and there, but never really broke through until my mid 20’s.
When I first started using POF, I was definitely meeting a lot more “average” women so to speak. After figuring out how to make a great profile I started “climbing the ranks” and getting women out on dates that I was really attracted to.
Although you can get “tricked,” sometimes with online dating, other times it can actually be a pleasant surprise. I recall one coffee date in particular. The girl looked cute in her pics and we both shared as fitness as a hobby so I was pretty excited to meet her. Anyhow, I show up to the coffee place and see this gorgeous blond sitting at the back. I remember thinking to myself, “Geez, that girl is hot.” Anyways, I sent a text saying I was there and she replies, “Yeah, I can see you. I’m sitting at the back.” I was shocked. She WAS the gorgeous blond sitting at the back. She was a brunette in her pics online, and for some odd reason, she didn’t put up her best pics on her profile. Ultimately this date did no go so well and I never saw her again.
It’s actually quite common to be nervous the first few times you get really attractive women out on dates.
If you’re a sports fan you’ve probably seen this scenario play out before….
It’s playoff time and the young team is playing an experienced team full of veterans.
The veteran team started to show their age near the end of the regular season but still managed to sneak into the playoffs.
The young team played well above their expectations and had the best record in the whole league for the regular season.
Now that it’s playoff time, though, the young team starts playing like a young team. They’re committing all the penalties they avoided for the most part in the regular season. False starts, offsides, delay of games, un-sportsman like conduct, and player ejections is what the team is all about now.
They lose their composure and ultimately lose the game.
They were more skilled than the veteran team all season and were even more skilled before the game started. The pressure of unfamiliar territory, though, got the best of them. They hadn’t been there before. Unfortunately,this can happen to some guys the first few times you get really beautiful women out on dates. You just haven’t been there before and put a lot of pressure on yourself.
I think most guys will find over time that nerves are not the reason for a bad date as they will feel comfortable around basically any woman regardless of how attractive she is. Yeah, sure, you’ll still get excited to go meet a beautiful woman, but you won’t be sweating bullets.
I’m sure most guys have heard the saying before that there’s two guarantees in life, death and taxes. Well, today I’m going to make you a third guarantee …….
If you can get a really gorgeous woman out on a date, she is NOT the only gorgeous woman out there that would go on a date with you.
Let me use another analogy for you.
Although I enjoy golfing a lot, I will admit that I suck. I’ve played for years and still usually shoot in the 90’s for 18 holes. For some reason, though, I still enjoy playing.
Although your putting and chipping are what really determine your score, most people are obsessed with how far they can drive the ball off the tee. Even though I’m an inconsistent golfer, I am capable of driving the ball over 300 yards off the tee. Sometimes these drives are few and far between, but nevertheless, I am physically capable of hitting the ball that far.
LOTS of guy are NOT capable of hitting the ball that far. They don’t have the power, the flexibility, or the technique to do so. Some men will NEVER be able to hit it that far.
If you’re able to get beautiful women out for at the very least a first date, you’re doing a lot right. There’s all kinds of men out there that would have ZERO chance at getting her out for a date. She just wouldn’t be interested in them.
Now just because you get her out on a date, it doesn’t mean you’ll hook up with her or she’ll automatically become your next girlfriend, but she has at least some type of interest you or otherwise she wouldn’t have showed up to begin with.
Although I don’t know you and there’s no possible way for me to know what exactly you could doing wrong on a date, I would say if you’re getting a lot of dates and they seem to be going nowhere that most likely you’re just a little too nervous. Chill out and relax, bro!
This post was written so guys don’t beat themselves over a bad date or two. Although they’re no fun, sometimes they’re out of your control. If you’re working on the essentials, there will be plenty more dates anyways!