This article was a bit tricky to categorize.
In one sense, it seems fits great under the “mindset category,” but in anther, it also fits well with dating.
As you’ve likely noticed, I don’t write too many “mindset” articles as it can be tough to write them without coming off as corny. Most are the usual, “Just believe in yourself, man. You can do it!”
Anyhow, I decided to go more in the “dating” type of direction with this article.
In my last article, “You’ll only get so good,” I made the statement, “You’re probably not as bad as you think” in the closing thoughts.
I know at one point in my life I thought I was really “bad.” (late teens to early 20’s) I couldn’t see why women would be interested in me since there were tons of other guys who were clearly better off than me. I figured women were always interested in that “other guy” instead of me. I often compared myself to “the elite” and felt bummed out because of it.
Heck, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has done this before? How can you not feel a little self conscious at times with modern technology and such? You constantly see rich, good looking celebrities everywhere you go and it’s easy to start comparing yourself to “person x.”
A lot of guys sell themselves short and think they’re not “good eough” or “person x is better than them.”
Although I’ve always stated that guys will vary in regards to potential, perhaps you’re not as bad as you think you are and could really be having a LOT of success with women?
First, lets start with the physical qualities you possess. I already discussed this a bit, and chances are, unless you checked off all of the points I covered in that article, you’re probably like the other 98% of the male population.
There’s no denying that genetics can cause you to hit a “ceiling,” but perhaps you already have some great features?
Perhaps you were born really tall? You’re 6 ft tall or above.
Perhaps you have a really good head of hair? Your hair is thick and you’re almost certain to never go bald.
Perhaps you have really nice (insert color) eyes? Women have commented on them before?
Perhaps you have nice straight teeth and a million dollar smile? Women will go crazy for that, by the way.
Perhaps you’ve spent a lot of time at the gym over the years? The hard work and dedication has paid off and you have a really nice body. Maybe you have big bulging arms? An impressive chest? Wide back? Strong legs? Amazing abs?
Perhaps you have killer style? Your wardrobe is really spiffy and people often compliment you on this.
Perhaps your grooming is second to none? You rarely have a hair out of place and you smell amazing all the time.
Now that we’ve covered physical appearance a bit, let’s move on to career.
Perhaps you have a really good career? You put in the hard work with your schooling and it has paid off. You are now a well paid professional.
This leads me to my next thought…..
Perhaps you are well off financially? Your career (whatever it is) has enabled you lots of financial freedom and security.
Let’s now move on to your lifestyle.
Perhaps you have a great group of friends? You’re a great guy and people really like you.
Perhaps you have a really interesting hobby?
Perhaps you’re well traveled and have been all over the world? You have tons of interesting stories and are interested in doing some more traveling.
Perhaps you live a clean lifestyle. You don’t smoke. You don’t do drugs, and rarely ever drink. This will be a turn on to higher quality women who have more to offer than just their looks.
Now let’s cover your personality a bit as it DOES matter, too.
Perhaps you’re a very kind person? You would do ANYTHING to help a friend, family member, or anyone, for that matter.
Perhaps you’re a good listener? People confide in you with their problems because you’re always there for them and listen without judging them.
Perhaps you’re just really easy going? You’re down for whatever and have a positive outlook on life.
What I strongly encourage you to do is take a sheet of paper and write down your good qualities (physical, career, financial, lifestyle, personality), and also write down your where you may be lagging a bit. You can do this in private and there’s no need to share this with anyone.
I think some guys may actually be surprised at how much they have to offer. They look at their good qualities and somewhat shock themselves.
When you look at the things you wrote down that you’re not so happy about, ask yourself, realistically, “Can I change this?” or “What will it take to improve this?”
I’ve always said that having passions and a drive is impressive to women. Although you may not be set up ideally right now, working hard towards it and her being able to see you do so is attractive as well.
Although I think it’s sad that some men never live up to their full potential, I think what’s even worse is some guys don’t realize just how good their current situation is. This can cause guys to spend years not talking to women because they’re not as tall or rich as “person x.” Although they may not be perfect (who really is?), there are women out there who would be interested in them, but they don’t ever pursue them since they feel they’re not “good enough.”
Also, another mistake some guys who don’t realize their potential make is staying in a toxic relationship. The guy has things in place but due to his mindset, he stays with a woman who is a poison choice for him. He’s never really happy but settles since he feels he can’t do any better.
Take a closer look at yourself.
There’s no doubt every one reading this article (myself included) could improve in certain areas, but ask yourself….
Are you really that bad?