If you’re not getting any numbers, or find the numbers you do get never lead to anything, there’s 3 questions you need to ask yourself….
1. How many chances are you actually giving yourself?
Although this should be fairly obvious, it’s often overlooked.
Let’s take last week for example. Yeah, sure, it may have been a busy week, but how many women did you give an opportunity to meet up with you for a first date? Be honest with yourself about this. (by the way, I STRONGLY discourage guys from keeping “stats.” This is a “one-time” thing.)
Do you have an online dating account? If so, did you message any women on it? Did you talk to any women during your day to day routines? Did you go to any clubs/bars where you would have had an opportunity to meet women? How about your social circle?
You’d be surprised at just how few chances guys not meeting women give themselves sometimes. She can’t go on a date with you if she doesn’t know you exist!
2. Are you the kind of guy women want to meet?
Perhaps the first question doesn’t really apply to you?
Perhaps you give yourself lots of opportunities, and still never seem to get anywhere?
Yeah, sure, slumps can happen. It seem like every woman you talk to is unavailable, they hate your guts for some reason, or every number you get seems to flake. This can happen to ANYONE from time to time. The problem is, though, when it starts happening ALL the time. If this is happening all the time,you may need re-evaluate yourself and make sure you are the kind of guy women want to meet. Perhaps you just need to make a little tweak in one particular area that will make the world of difference!
3. Are you playing too many games?
This is the question I’m going to cover in most depth as I think it’s likely where guys are making the most mistakes. Perhaps questions 1 and 2 really don’t apply to you. You give yourself chances, you’re the kind of guy women want to meet, but, yet, you’re still rarely getting anywhere with women.
I decided to break this question down even further, and into 3 separate points,
PUA induced games
Sometimes “game” itself is the main culprit. I’ve already encouraged guys to unsubscribe from PUA newsletters and STAY AWAY from the community altogether. Even if you have, though, a few bad habits may still be lingering.
“Game” often results in guys thinking they need to be a comedian, and really funny all the time. They feel they ALWAYS need to be “on,” and everything has to be so “exciting.” “Game” also generally leads to foolishness like playing “really hard to get,” “disguising” your interest, and straight up treating women poorly to signify you’re a “high-status alpha male.”
If you are doing stuff like this…..STOP! And…NOW!
Text game can be just as deadly as PUA induced games.
I’ve already covered texting here.
Although I don’t believe texting a girl too little before a date will hurt you, I do believe texting too much can actually hurt you!
Think about it. If she’s a woman you’re about to go on a date with, chances are you don’t know her too well. If she agreed to meet up for a first date, she has at least some type of interest, and is giving you a”try out.” If you start texting her too much before the date, you run the risk of coming off as annoying, or as a huge dork with all the corny texts.
Now after a date or two if you happen to like her, and the feeling appears to be mutual, you can text her slightly more often if you choose to do so. If she’s a younger woman, she’ll likely text you quite often if she likes you. Personally, I don’t care to text that much so I really only use when I’m trying to set up plans. This is a feel thing, though, and totally up to you. Just take it easy with texting early on.
I wanted to cover “Facebook game” in most depth, as I’ve yet to really say anything about it.
A lot of guys are fooled into thinking Facebook is of vital importance for success with women. The reality, though, it really isn’t.
I can recall a conversation I had with this girl I was dating about 3 years ago one day at the beach:
She worked as a bank teller and told me this guy that always came in on Fridays to make deposits added her on Facebook. She thought it was weird because he never spoke to her at the bank, and also since she wasn’t sure how he knew her last name to add her on Facebook. Anyhow, she said he sent her a private message saying he liked her and asked her if she wanted to go on a date with him. She thought it was creepy, and wasn’t sure how to reply back to him since she’d still have to see him when he came into the bank. The irony of all of this is that I dated her for about 3-4 months (until she started throwing incredibly wild mood swings) ,and I wasn’t even friends with her on Facebook.
Here’s another interesting story in regards to Facebook,
I was chatting one night with a female co-worker of mine and she told me a guy we worked with recently added her on Facebook. She said he rarely spoke to her at work. After she accepted his friend request, she said he started “liking” her pics and statues which she thought was really weird. She also said he would message her as soon as she singed online most days. Apparently to this day he still hardly says a thing to her at work.
Often guys think they’re “da man” if they start adding a bunch of “hot chicks” to their Facebook account. Most women will accept your friend request. I know guys who have loads of “hot chicks” on their Facebook accounts, yet, get absolutely nowhere with them. Guys often think they’re doing themselves a favor by “working” on women through Facebook.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a girl I met last summer on Tinder,
We met for a drink one afternoon, and during the date she told me that she really liked how I asked her out on a date rather quickly. She said guys on Tinder that don’t send pics of their junk, or ask if you want to bang in the first message, often screw around a lot.
She went on to tell me about a guy she matched with a few months back that she was really interested in. She said they messaged back and forth on Tinder a bit, and then he asked for her number. She gave it to him thinking he was going to ask her on date, but instead, he proceeded to text back and forth for a week. After texting back and forth for week,he then asked her if she had Facebook. Apparently he then started messaging her on Facebook chat instead of text. Even though they apparently exchanged a ton of messages back and forth, HE NEVER ACTUALLY ASKED HER ON A DATE! She said she was confused as to why he didn’t ask her on a date, and ultimately disappointed that he never did.
If a woman wants to meet you, she wants to meet YOU! She does not want to have a relationship with your cell phone or you Facebook account! She wants to meet YOU in PERSON!
I would like to caution guys not to “creep” profiles too much on Facebook. First off, you could click the “add friend” option by mistake, and second, you may see a girl you’re interested in, see her in a pic with a guy and assume she’s taken. It may be her boyfriend, but it also may be her cousin, her brother, or a good male friend of hers. Likewise, it’s easy to assume women that take a lot of selfies are single, while in reality they may be married, or have a boyfriend.
I think the biggest problem with playing any of these “games”(PUA induced games, text game, or Facebook game) is only does it turn women off or push them away, you can actually lose a woman was initially interested in you to a guy who doesn’t have a case of “dickarounditis.”
Think about it. If the woman has a few options (which younger women often do), although you may be her most desired option, if you don’t express your interest in her she likely won’t know it, or she’ll get fed up with the “games,” and gladly meet a guy who actually DOES ask her on a date!
I hope this article was an eye opener for some guys if they’re not really getting what they want with women. It may be a reality check for some guys.